THE MASON AND FRIENDS SHOW — EPISODE 1048
Transcript converted from supplied SRT captions.

[00:24] Ladies and gentlemen,
[00:28] for the
[00:30] 1,048th time, it is
[00:39] featuring his Junius.
[00:41] Oh My Mama,
[00:44] as well as
[00:46] his black handedness.
[00:51] Me, I am
[00:53] Mason.
[00:54] Welcome to the Mason and friendship.
[00:57] Family.
[00:58] Y'all was good out there today.
[01:04] Living the dream.
[01:04] Michael had a hell of you, sir.
[01:07] Shit, man. Maintain the best I can.
[01:09] I need my streets.
[01:13] Yeah. I go out here.
[01:15] Hoping they go be a pool table sitting over yonder.
[01:17] Come next week.
[01:18] Oh, well, you finally get back.
[01:20] I've been looking.
[01:22] Hold on. Do you want one? Yeah.
[01:25] I got one you can have. Motherfucker.
[01:28] The one from my house, I got it.
[01:30] Fucking storage.
[01:32] Right here.
[01:34] You told me that you was buying one like you.
[01:36] I thought you had already had a purchase.
[01:38] Yeah, like you were getting the one with the ping pong table.
[01:41] Oh, that. Was like, two grand.
[01:44] They wanted money for that? Yeah,
[01:47] two grand for that.
[01:47] Oh my God.
[01:49] We'll figure out a way to get it out of the storage unit.
[01:51] Matter of fact, when I go on vacation.
[01:53] You need to hire someone to do that if it's legitimate.
[01:57] Yeah, you need to hire a pro to go over there and pick it up from him.
[02:00] I'm even delivering here.
[02:02] But it's heavy that.
[02:04] It doesn't have three slate panels.
[02:06] Very big. Thick.
[02:07] Because if you're going to have one, you might as well have one with slate.
[02:10] Because.
[02:11] Well, they make them now without non slate.
[02:14] Yeah. But this motherfucker is heavy because.
[02:16] There's still 4 or 500 pounds. Yeah.
[02:18] Because we played it at my house when I had, at my house
[02:21] we were playing To Be You, Velvet Smoky that day on the basic plane.
[02:24] That's the same pool table.
[02:26] I got sticks and everything.
[02:27] That all the shit with it.
[02:29] It's just been sitting in my storage unit for the past.
[02:32] Fuck.
[02:32] I don't know how many goddamn years.
[02:34] Where the storage unit at Warrenton.
[02:37] Right there.
[02:38] Cross from Walmart.
[02:44] And the wheels turn.
[02:46] Yeah, because getting it down here, though.
[02:49] That's insane.
[02:49] Like, you need to hire a professional.
[02:51] When I
[02:53] move that bitch twice and.
[02:56] You barely got it done. I'm not.
[02:58] I was gonna hire some people.
[03:00] Yeah, I say both. Both times. It's.
[03:03] Ideally you hire someone to go to a pool table that's set up at someone's house,
[03:06] break it down and bring it to your house and set it up.
[03:09] Yeah.
[03:09] That's ideal.
[03:10] By somebody. Pool table. They give it to you.
[03:13] You hire the people.
[03:14] The fucking pieces. Like.
[03:16] Because I want to say I take the bag to the fucking pool table with all the bolts.
[03:21] And when I have to take extra the part
[03:24] because you got to put the legs back on it, you know what I mean?
[03:28] To build the base.
[03:30] Then you got to put whatever the fucking playing surface is down.
[03:33] Yeah.
[03:34] And get that all even in perfect, and then get that covered and.
[03:37] Then put the fell down.
[03:38] Yeah. No, you don't need to put the felt and everything.
[03:40] It's all on it. Like,
[03:43] all you got to do is really put the legs on it and stand that bitch up.
[03:46] But flipping that bad
[03:51] I. Get that should have killed you.
[03:52] That should.
[03:53] Just tell you, man. You have to take it apart, though.
[03:56] Like all the way.
[03:56] Like to get to the.
[04:00] Slate slate.
[04:01] It's just. Would I.
[04:03] Just take the legs off? Remember the legs.
[04:05] The legs are like.
[04:06] Fucking the thing that the ball is wrong.
[04:09] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
[04:10] If yours isn't slate, it's not like
[04:13] it's not as nice as the slate table is.
[04:17] Yeah, it's not as nice as a slate table.
[04:18] But I'm only point is, if you're going to pay someone to move
[04:21] something like that, it's going to be a lot of money to move Mike's shit.
[04:25] But it's still going to be a lot of money to move a slate table.
[04:28] So if you can get a slave table, I'd go for that.
[04:30] But if Mike's giving you that shit
[04:32] for free, like, and somebody can go and work with it,
[04:36] what you need to do is figure out the the model and the brand and all that.
[04:39] And then you call someone and say how much to install this brand, model this.
[04:44] And they would say X amount.
[04:46] Yeah.
[04:47] Like that's what I've been working back and forth with this cat name one
[04:51] from DMV pool service or something like that.
[04:54] And he's like, I need this, that and the other one do.
[04:57] You told me.
[04:58] He said, we're kind of pull a world leader. He talking about.
[05:01] All right. That's going to be at least 19. I'm like 1900.
[05:04] I'm talking about moving to call people. Call Pepper.
[05:06] Fuck you talking about.
[05:08] Well, it's super heavy. It's dangerous.
[05:10] It's like I moved.
[05:12] But I mean, that's your your business.
[05:13] Is pool table moving.
[05:14] So. Yeah, that's. Why you charge big money.
[05:17] What are you going to do?
[05:20] I mean, not like that, but I mean, goddamn.
[05:23] That bitch is bad that. I know they haven't.
[05:24] I know they were heavy. When I first bought that bitch.
[05:27] Just straight dead weight, like World's strongest man type shit like that.
[05:32] Man, my homie.
[05:33] I work, shit's fall in.
[05:34] Your leg gets chopped up when the panel falls.
[05:37] She said when she was like, y'all got a pool.
[05:39] If you want some back, I got to the house.
[05:41] She's like, look, you had to break it down and move it.
[05:44] I'm like, I should be no problem.
[05:45] I hit my homie up, man. We went over there.
[05:48] We just.
[05:49] Had no idea what you get yourself in.
[05:50] Fuck no, man.
[05:51] Me, it's got this pool table and I had I had a luckily he brought another dude
[05:56] with him.
[05:57] All three of us.
[05:57] We struggled just to get it out of the house
[05:59] and then having to take it into my crib and down the damn steps, bro.
[06:03] Oh, what's that guy in that bitch?
[06:05] I'm like, yeah, I ain't gotta worry about this motherfucker more than that.
[06:08] End up losing
[06:09] the house, had a break down again and move that motherfucker in the snow.
[06:13] Oh, bro.
[06:16] Bro, you talking about a bad boy?
[06:19] Did I move to the get.
[06:20] I moved it from the storage unit that was up here to the motherfucking
[06:24] storage unit in Warrenton.
[06:25] I'm trying to think you help me move to this.
[06:27] Nobody helped me move that motherfucking editor.
[06:29] That was all me that day.
[06:31] I moved that motherfucker by my fucking self, bruh.
[06:34] War. The fuck?
[06:35] It was the last thing I had moved.
[06:38] Sound like a dog in it, but I'm not.
[06:39] I would rather have a pool table that's been set up in someone's basement
[06:43] and not have Mike break it down four times, move to four different places.
[06:47] You know what I'm saying?
[06:48] Like, if it's in somebody's house, it's all there, you know?
[06:51] It's all there, Mike. Shit.
[06:52] It might be all there.
[06:53] It's probably all there.
[06:54] But yeah, I'll check for you.
[06:56] Like I go to the storage unit this weekend.
[06:58] Like I go do it on Sunday and fucking check before I come up here.
[07:02] Yeah.
[07:03] Get the modeling brand and you can.
[07:05] See it here, because.
[07:06] Whoever can do. I told kid, I said,
[07:09] I told kid on Thursday.
[07:11] I said, man, if you hadn't have bought that pool table,
[07:14] apparently he bought a pool table. I give him the motherfucker.
[07:16] I got to get rid of it.
[07:17] I glad you said something about fucking.
[07:20] If you said that first.
[07:21] When I first originally said pool table, did we really have that conversation.
[07:24] When you said you gotta know what you.
[07:26] Lisa said you had a pool table coming.
[07:28] That somebody was giving you a pool was like, the fuck?
[07:30] Oh, yeah, that's right. We didn't have that conversation.
[07:32] Yeah, yeah.
[07:33] We all thought he had it all under control.
[07:35] I thought it was going to be reminded. That conversation.
[07:37] That's why I was like, shit. Man.
[07:39] You work out too.
[07:40] Well, that went over there and that was a dog shit toy.
[07:42] Apparently. The pool table.
[07:44] Yeah. Pockets.
[07:45] You know what I mean?
[07:45] Like the wrap around the pockets, you know, I mean.
[07:48] 1900.
[07:49] Now, that one was free.
[07:50] These they won 900 movie pool table.
[07:52] The moving company that I called,
[07:55] that's what they wanted.
[07:56] Yeah.
[07:57] I mean, I had to pay someone 5 or 600 just to set the one up that I already had
[08:00] built in my basement.
[08:01] And that's just moving the panels from one side of the room to the other.
[08:04] I think about a grand a fucking head, motherfucker move and set up for him,
[08:07] you know what I mean? Like that ain't.
[08:08] Back when I first got mine.
[08:09] It only cost me 500. I have to think.
[08:11] Fucking move from one place to the other and set up and broke down.
[08:13] That's what I'm screaming.
[08:14] So I gave him a brand. Now.
[08:15] I mean, God damn. I help you, motherfucker!
[08:18] Yeah, yeah.
[08:19] Hey, if I may raise no bitch, I help shit.
[08:22] Nowhere else on the waiver.
[08:23] Then if I get hurt, I put you on.
[08:25] All pool tables are dangerous.
[08:27] I know they they they real.
[08:29] I mean, my best way.
[08:30] I think they best thing for him to come down the hill a little bit.
[08:32] They have to. That's the only thing they can do.
[08:36] Yeah.
[08:36] I mean, do you have to walking around and come in through there? Yeah.
[08:39] They coming down the stairs. Fuck all that.
[08:41] No no no, you're not getting it in the house.
[08:43] You got to come around back.
[08:44] That's the only way to come in.
[08:47] And that's just going to take a break.
[08:49] Hold on. We got to take a break here. All right. Ready?
[08:51] Get yourself together. One, two.
[08:53] Three up. Let's go.
[08:53] I had the kicker board ready.
[08:55] Talk that wheel.
[08:57] Yeah.
[09:00] But yeah, man.
[09:01] I'll go check it out this Sunday, man.
[09:03] That'll help me get rid of that shit. I'm.
[09:05] I'm tired of paying for the Scott damn storage unit, man, with all this shit.
[09:08] I need to go there and check it out anyway. You know what else you got, Mike?
[09:11] What else are you getting rid of? Store here, I mean, my.
[09:14] Well, yeah.
[09:15] Come on now.
[09:16] I got a fucking football.
[09:18] Sarah doesn't want to get rid of this. I still don't know why.
[09:20] Fucking foosball table.
[09:22] I got one of them. Yeah. Is it a good one?
[09:25] I don't think.
[09:26] Mr. Juice moves, man.
[09:28] Is it heavy as fuck you need. The heavier the better, bro.
[09:30] No, this is a light one. Oh, yeah. That's no good.
[09:33] Like, what you need is like a 400 pound foosball table.
[09:35] So when you fucking swing the shit out of it, you know, and you'd be like,
[09:38] fuck out and spin that motherfucker hard.
[09:40] The whole thing doesn't move.
[09:41] She was like, it was. It was. Her roommate.
[09:44] And I were up there playing that shit
[09:45] when we were moving you in here, and, like, it was fun.
[09:48] Don't get me wrong. But, like, you can't get super aggressive.
[09:51] You can't get aggressive. No.
[09:53] Everything's bailed out of that little
[09:56] fake ass wood bullshit.
[09:59] Yeah, yeah.
[10:00] That's that's something. Unless you spend in, like, two grand and shit.
[10:03] You know what I mean? By that point, you might as well build one of them.
[10:05] Goddamn, that can't be too hard.
[10:07] Because she. Was building. Own building.
[10:10] If you took the cheap components that are used
[10:12] for spinning it and built, like a really nice heavy duty wood.
[10:16] Yeah, you could use two by 40.
[10:17] Two by 12. Or whatever.
[10:19] Two by six wouldn't be able to build some.
[10:20] They would have some nice have to put.
[10:22] Two by sixes on the wall on the end.
[10:24] That's it in the house.
[10:25] Fucking going to put a nice fucking 4x4 frame on that bitch.
[10:29] Yeah bro.
[10:30] Come on you fucking shaking that up to the world.
[10:33] There something you got to have like three of the homies come to help you move.
[10:36] Trying to move it
[10:36] after you and you build it in one spot and that's where it's going to be.
[10:40] Like, you literally build it in the spot where you want it to stay.
[10:42] When you're done, you're like, let's go.
[10:44] Yeah, yeah, you got enough space.
[10:48] Go right over there.
[10:49] Between the pillars.
[10:50] And busters, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[10:53] Just don't let fucking slap on top of it because, you know, you're probably.
[10:57] Gonna know.
[10:57] I'm gonna tell. Yeah, I know that.
[11:01] Yeah, that is terrible for a pool table.
[11:02] Yeah, I'm gonna tell them.
[11:04] Watch belly.
[11:09] Go put out that pool table.
[11:10] We'll see what happens.
[11:12] Yeah, yeah.
[11:12] Real problem coming down here with the plastic.
[11:15] Yeah, yeah.
[11:17] You got time talking leaks out of fucking on that table.
[11:20] Yeah. Now ain't coming all the way down here.
[11:22] Yeah you will.
[11:24] And when nobody's around
[11:26] down here
[11:28] I can't.
[11:28] I can't eat now I can't be.
[11:30] What's going.
[11:31] To happen though. Upstairs I was too fired up.
[11:33] Yeah.
[11:34] You know I.
[11:36] Can't I ain't going to be fucking on that.
[11:37] Don't I can't be like I can't, I ain't gonna rest of that thing tipping.
[11:40] I'll be worried about that tipping. Tip
[11:43] for you.
[11:43] Enough. That fucking falling.
[11:44] They have to pick it back up like now.
[11:46] Fuck all that.
[11:47] We can go upstairs.
[11:48] We'll be right there.
[11:52] You go at least pregame on it.
[11:56] Just play just the tip of the table.
[11:59] Let put this ball in the corner pocket.
[12:04] There's definitely no extra ball rolled on the table.
[12:07] So I'll make sure. No extra balls.
[12:10] Yeah I'll make sure I put at least some panties on when I got to play pool.
[12:13] You know, I ain't gonna have it out there dangling.
[12:17] I can't be out there playing hangman around the pool banana
[12:21] before I'm out here.
[12:22] Latches thing on up here now.
[12:27] Do you think so?
[12:29] Yeah.
[12:31] Yeah, man. So how are we?
[12:33] Let me know.
[12:34] I got you, Brian.
[12:35] I ain't no thing. Fuck.
[12:37] Like I said, man, I'm trying to cut some expenses around, man.
[12:41] Like fuck.
[12:41] You know that damn storage unit is,
[12:45] damn it, 300 a month, you know?
[12:47] Yeah. I don't want a cheap foosball table.
[12:49] If you had, like, one of them, 400 pounds, and I'd have to get, like,
[12:53] five people to help me.
[12:53] Move, it's definitely one.
[12:55] That's like. I think that one is.
[12:58] It's still, I think regulations 54in, I think.
[13:02] And that bitch is 48 when I got okay.
[13:05] So yeah, you'd have to get
[13:07] a regulation size inexpensive one and then build a whole new thing.
[13:11] Or I guess you could maybe even just wait it down, you know,
[13:15] I mean, you should do something.
[13:17] You should be able to get a hold of.
[13:19] What I would do is get a hold of a good company
[13:21] and then just buy the fucking all the fucking replacement placement arm shits.
[13:26] That's it.
[13:27] You know, and then you build everything else.
[13:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,
[13:33] we think we'll be trying to find that.
[13:38] You'd have to order the gold thing
[13:39] from them too, because that'd be hard to remake that if you can
[13:42] piece of like pool table slate and use that as your base,
[13:47] that'd be incredible.
[13:52] But that's, you know,
[13:54] we're being ridiculous now.
[13:56] We're talking about. Yeah, some extra shit.
[13:59] Yeah. Bro.
[13:59] All about it.
[14:00] That ball is going to be fucking
[14:03] just gliding across that shit.
[14:08] Slate bottom.
[14:12] Line across that
[14:14] brand new piece on Felted Slate.
[14:17] Has your 54 inch bass for the foosball table.
[14:21] That motherfucker ain't going nowhere when you spin on that shit.
[14:24] You know what I'm saying?
[14:25] Yeah.
[14:28] That will be heavy. Yeah.
[14:29] You got to build a real heavy duty set up to put that on, slap
[14:32] that on there and put on the external pieces.
[14:37] Yep, man.
[14:41] Fucking
[14:43] you hear all the drama with the what is that, the Grand Theft Auto.
[14:47] Now I still don't be all digital.
[14:52] Then they're going to make their going to bring the hard copy out.
[14:55] Well they're saying that PlayStation is saying
[14:57] that they're not going to have a disk drive in the future.
[14:59] Yeah. There'll be no hard copy of. A game.
[15:02] All games will be digital. Like fuck that. No.
[15:04] People don't like that. No, I don't blame them.
[15:07] No, I don't like it either. Like, fuck you.
[15:09] I don't want to just have a little booklet.
[15:11] I want to have the actual disc.
[15:13] Yeah, give me that, motherfucker, because you ain't going to lock my shit up
[15:16] or take my shit away, because now you want some kind of payment or whatever.
[15:19] My internet's down or whatever.
[15:21] I don't get to play Grand Theft. I hate that kind of shit.
[15:23] You haven't logged in enough to play the game,
[15:26] so we're just going to take it away. We spend your account?
[15:29] Yep. Put in a new password every now.
[15:31] Fuck you.
[15:33] What's your bank account information now?
[15:35] I kiss my dad.
[15:36] Yeah. No, I need to be able to play this game.
[15:38] That's why I missed the old school shit, man.
[15:40] I missed that old school. Mike, you don't have to miss it.
[15:42] You can still have it. Old school shit's all still available.
[15:45] That is true.
[15:46] Whatever you like.
[15:47] You want our old games, man?
[15:50] Have a blast. Satan, bitches.
[15:52] All that shit at the peak.
[15:53] Right back at it.
[15:54] Like, fuck the shit I got my girl.
[15:56] Remember that?
[15:57] The game. Superintendent.
[16:00] Handheld playing Carmen Sandiego when she had that bitch?
[16:03] I know I saved my shit on there, but all I got to do is law back in typing
[16:07] three letters and I'm back in the same spot I left off on
[16:11] because that was my game back in the day, especially school detention.
[16:14] Man, third grade intentions would turn me on to Carmen.
[16:16] San Diego.
[16:17] Just the game.
[16:18] Yeah. You never seen the TV show?
[16:20] Yeah, yeah, I watched these to watch TV show all that shit.
[16:23] But the game, that's where it was at. Like.
[16:25] Because when I was in detention. Fuck.
[16:28] I want to do the third grade. I stayed in detention, like.
[16:31] Yeah, yeah, I had a lot of years in detention.
[16:32] I don't think.
[16:33] I remember when my mom came to school and they were looking at the chart
[16:37] and they were like, yo, what's this chart here?
[16:39] Why is how come you don't have a lot of stars?
[16:41] Because that's for the kids that ain't been in detention.
[16:44] I only got a couple stars because I'm always in detention, you know what.
[16:48] I mean? Yeah.
[16:48] And they're like, why? It wasn't because I wasn't doing my work.
[16:51] It was just be talking back.
[16:52] Like she didn't make sense, right? Yeah.
[16:55] It's the same reason I always got in trouble.
[16:57] So I'm.
[16:57] Like, I'm like,
[16:58] you just said this and you said that, and they contradict each other.
[17:02] Well, you got to get out of class.
[17:03] So third grade, I was always in attention.
[17:05] And the woman that did detention, she would always ask me,
[17:08] like, what did you hear for the damn like, honestly, I don't even know any more.
[17:11] Like she was like, well, you want to just play these games
[17:14] because everybody else is outside reason I'm in detention fucking all right.
[17:18] She had the Oregon Trail. Oh, yeah.
[17:22] Fire Carmen San Diego.
[17:24] And there was one more
[17:26] Prince of Persia.
[17:28] Prince of Persia?
[17:29] Yeah, on fucking the PC and fucking man.
[17:32] I used to play the fuck out of that game.
[17:34] I got to this one level I couldn't pass, you know.
[17:37] And just so happens when we got our computer, when we moved up here
[17:41] and I was like ten years old.
[17:43] My dad had that game.
[17:44] Remember when fucking like
[17:48] when you had the internet came on the fucking the time
[17:51] for the internet came on the fucking disk.
[17:52] Like you got these disk in the mail for getting free internet
[17:56] for X amount of time.
[17:57] The AOL disk, ten hours for free. Bro.
[17:59] We had so many of these bitches young, so.
[18:02] You would just link them up and get another ten hours for free, bruh.
[18:05] All the time we had, we had free internet.
[18:09] I don't know how long.
[18:10] Like, I was one of the only friends when I first moved up there like, oh shit,
[18:14] I have this. Like, I can play this game, man.
[18:17] I was on this motherfucking game.
[18:18] And I finally had got past the stage that I've been on for like months.
[18:22] You know, my sister comes there, she's like, it's my turn to play the computer.
[18:27] Like, look, how about
[18:30] I fucking play this game and you.
[18:33] Go fuck yourself? And I'm like.
[18:35] You let me finish this shit up and you can have this computer all day tomorrow.
[18:40] You can. Matter of fact, you can have it all weekend.
[18:42] I won't even bother you if you just let me play this through,
[18:47] because I fucking finally pass this shit right now.
[18:50] She wanted to be asshole.
[18:51] You still mad at your sister for 25 years ago?
[18:55] No no no no no no.
[18:56] And you play Carmen Sandiego all the way.
[18:57] There was. A car.
[18:59] But I was just like.
[19:00] I told her.
[19:00] I was like, look, it was the one game that I was like,
[19:03] I hadn't beaten, and I was about to beat this motherfucker.
[19:05] Like. It's just unfinished business. Yeah it is.
[19:08] You couldn't step into me in this business.
[19:10] I'm trying to get finished.
[19:11] Exactly.
[19:12] This is business transaction, right? Yeah.
[19:14] She took me out that chair and fucking the keyboard.
[19:17] Flew the computer, blanked off.
[19:19] Yeah, I lost my shit.
[19:22] Remember the claw you grabbed, motherfuckers.
[19:25] Temples? Yeah, bro.
[19:27] I latched onto her motherfucking.
[19:28] Face.
[19:29] And claw, and I'm squeezing her fucking temple.
[19:31] She's crying. Losing.
[19:33] My mom is screaming at my brother to get me.
[19:36] Put your sister in the Iron Claw.
[19:38] Texas tornado. Yeah.
[19:41] Wow. That's on her ass.
[19:43] My brother's like, I ain't get into it because he ain't me up.
[19:46] Now, my brother's ten years older than me, and I'm just like, this bitch pissed me
[19:50] the fuck off.
[19:51] You know, I got off of, though.
[19:53] You know what I'm saying?
[19:54] Michael? You're a violent individual.
[19:56] I told you that when I was a kid, I was very.
[19:58] It didn't take much.
[20:00] It didn't take much.
[20:01] Michael leaned into violence as a young man.
[20:04] That look that day. Look.
[20:05] I keep talking about this.
[20:09] I was picked out a lot when I.
[20:11] Was younger to you.
[20:12] First, Michael started this.
[20:15] Good faith.
[20:16] Who's the catalyst for this?
[20:18] Because it wasn't a sterling.
[20:20] It had to be a Fairfax.
[20:22] Anybody in your family?
[20:23] It was. You were literally fighting with the children at school. Yeah.
[20:26] Some kid wanted to smoke.
[20:28] Some kid was like a big motherfucker.
[20:30] Think he big?
[20:31] I could tell you exactly when it started.
[20:33] I remember.
[20:34] Like, watch Richard.
[20:36] That's Michael in second grade. It's hood,
[20:40] Richard Hood.
[20:41] Return the hood.
[20:42] But look, I. Remember what was going to happen to you.
[20:45] You wouldn't keep doing what you're doing.
[20:48] I remember what had happened.
[20:49] Because you don't know what it's like when I hit you. My.
[20:51] All my uncles are now.
[20:53] When I was little,
[20:54] I thought these were like my grandfathers, but they were my great uncles.
[20:57] Whatever. And I'll go over to the house. And they were, you know, they.
[21:00] They must have seemed all this shit, dude.
[21:02] They did.
[21:03] Yeah.
[21:03] Like 20, like 47 year old uncle.
[21:06] But they had been living hard since they. Yeah, yeah.
[21:08] Because they drink all the time like they drink. Naughty. Here.
[21:11] That was their drink.
[21:12] Naughty hit.
[21:13] Not a hit.
[21:13] Gin and fucking orange juice.
[21:15] That's what they drink all the time.
[21:17] Checking that juice to stay.
[21:19] Staying drunk looking oldest.
[21:21] But here's the thing, though. You never knew they were drunk.
[21:23] They would drink this shit. Like, every all day long.
[21:26] You wouldn't know this. That's what I mean when I say stay in Trump.
[21:29] They just. That's how they work. That's how. They were.
[21:31] They weren't.
[21:32] Yeah. I've known old folks like that back in the day.
[21:34] I always look old as fuck. So fucking.
[21:36] I remember what I was telling them, that I was getting picked on a school.
[21:39] They're like, look, you are stronger than most
[21:43] hands.
[21:44] You get them hands to somebody,
[21:46] man. You land on somebody with one of these motherfuckers,
[21:49] they're going to stop fucking with you. And I'm like, all right, whatever.
[21:52] Like they talk to me and try and boost me up, right?
[21:55] I remember the two motherfuckers.
[21:57] It was Cordell and Jonathan.
[21:58] These motherfuckers were older than me.
[22:00] I'll never forget this because.
[22:02] You told me. They say stole your ice cream.
[22:04] No, no, these motherfuckers dragged me through dog shit.
[22:06] Yeah, yeah, that's what it was, man.
[22:08] You caught them at the ice cream truck.
[22:10] Yeah, and I beat the shit out of both of them.
[22:13] And that's what. That's what it all clicked was like.
[22:15] All right, but my uncles are right.
[22:17] I put my hands on the motherfucker.
[22:19] They going to learn.
[22:20] So you beat up two kids in the neighborhood
[22:22] at the ice cream truck, and then you had to move the fuck your county
[22:25] sound like a Fast and Furious movie, you know what I'm saying?
[22:29] Mike's Tokyo Drift only is your drift.
[22:32] Your drifting.
[22:35] Country drift.
[22:38] Country drift.
[22:39] 12 coming at you exclusively.
[22:42] Yeah, but as a kid, I used to fight all the time. Like that was.
[22:44] That was my grandma told me when I almost killed my cousin,
[22:47] my grandma was like, nah, you got to get your attitude in check.
[22:49] That's why I did the Special Olympics shit and calm down a lot.
[22:52] That's all that happened.
[22:54] Okay, you can't get mad at these guys.
[22:56] Yeah, that's what my grandma told me when I almost killed my cousin.
[22:59] She said, you need to get your attitude in check.
[23:01] You're going to be a coach at the Special Olympics.
[23:02] I'm like, I'm not.
[23:04] Whatever the. Fuck is. She made. A weekend.
[23:07] My mom was dropping me off with my uncle.
[23:09] There'll be a coach of Special Olympics.
[23:11] I'm like, my grandma don't even live with us.
[23:13] Like, how the hell is this happening? Like.
[23:16] You fucked up, man. Yeah. Yeah. Basically.
[23:18] So you almost killed your cousin? Yeah. Yeah.
[23:20] You stopped. Breathing. For a while. Fucked up
[23:24] even for a while.
[23:25] He's not breathing. All right, come on now.
[23:28] We're on. I get to come on now, momma.
[23:30] Coming out here now. Come on.
[23:31] You better give him fucking mouth to mouth because that's your kid.
[23:33] Somebody get out some water. I'll tell him. My grandma was like.
[23:36] It was his fault.
[23:38] You were dragging one on him.
[23:39] If he dies, he dies. That's there.
[23:42] Because I was like, I was mad.
[23:43] I was like, fuck, I told you not to do this.
[23:45] Look, you made me do this to you.
[23:47] This is why you're on.
[23:48] You sound like an abusive husband.
[23:51] Look what you made me do.
[23:54] I look, I told. Him that she was looking at the side of your head, but.
[23:57] You look. He didn't.
[23:58] Know what you made me do to you.
[23:59] Exactly why you make me beat you so bad. You.
[24:03] I told you to listen.
[24:04] You didn't want to listen. You want to see if.
[24:07] You couldn't parry one of them left.
[24:10] Why had he couldn't have gone in there like Batman?
[24:12] Roll with the punches.
[24:14] And I laid back. At me. Clean the fuck out.
[24:17] We've got a couple of come back with the uppercut.
[24:19] But I did learn to calm down with the kids.
[24:22] The Special Olympics, the all Special Olympics coaches.
[24:25] Special Olympics is the reason why you ended up being a nice man,
[24:29] not a psychopath.
[24:30] Yeah, that's what kept him.
[24:31] And that's what Kevin.
[24:32] Together as we turned his boat just to.
[24:34] Keep him. Just.
[24:35] He could be on this show with us for as long as we right that happy medium.
[24:39] Just kidding.
[24:40] You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
[24:42] If I would have stayed out in Fairfax, I'd have been on that other side.
[24:45] I'd have been that you heard some shit about.
[24:47] Mike would have killed somebody at a fucking.
[24:49] I'd have been on 20, 21. Crazy shit.
[24:52] Yeah. 2020.
[24:55] Some Dateline NBC shit.
[25:01] Because I hear everything was coming.
[25:03] I only got in like a couple couple fights out here when I.
[25:06] When I first got out of here.
[25:07] Yeah, I remember getting in one big fight when I first came out here,
[25:11] but then after that it was there were a few in between.
[25:14] But a lot of people didn't fuck with you.
[25:16] I realized a motherfucker my size
[25:19] and people see me do some shit that normal motherfuckers can't do.
[25:23] They're like, yo, this is my fucking right. Like, okay.
[25:26] Yeah, yeah.
[25:26] When you get that fucking.
[25:27] Beat, when you twist somebody's head off and shoot it through a basketball hoop,
[25:30] like they're going to be like, you know what?
[25:32] I don't think I want to be friends with that guy.
[25:35] That could be.
[25:36] Yeah, you gotta be nice, be nice and jovial.
[25:38] And then everybody's like, oh, big Mike, he's great.
[25:40] He wouldn't hurt a fly.
[25:41] And then like,
[25:42] remember the time he twisted Timmy's head off and do it to the basketball he.
[25:45] Did over there? But yeah, I definitely do.
[25:48] You hear about Jonathan a dice cream truck.
[25:50] You see what he did? Who was it? It was me.
[25:53] It was me. KP chippy.
[25:56] He was with us and we were at KP, so we picked up.
[25:59] I can't remember the motherfucker we picked up.
[26:00] We picked up somebody, some random cat that we knew.
[26:03] We picked him up and roll with us that day.
[26:05] We used to do that.
[26:06] Motherfucker was just chilling.
[26:07] Happened to say you and ride.
[26:09] Let's roll.
[26:09] Come on.
[26:10] I was sitting on KP, was in KP.
[26:13] I'm sitting on the couch. The motherfucker sitting like, right here.
[26:15] Where you at?
[26:16] And I'm just sitting there and I don't know
[26:18] what the fuck made me do it, but I had this urge.
[26:20] I said, man, I ain't smacked the motherfucker in a minute.
[26:24] And KP looked me dead now because he knew what was about to happen.
[26:27] He goes, man, if you feel like doing it,
[26:31] do it.
[26:32] I was like, you know what? You're right.
[26:34] And I just backhanded this month. Fuck you.
[26:38] That's my fucking just went flying.
[26:40] And I was like.
[26:45] This land.
[26:46] And he goes, what the fuck you?
[26:49] I said, man, my bad, bro.
[26:51] Like, I just had this urge, man, that you was the right there.
[26:55] Like, you see these other backed up, but you didn't.
[26:58] Yeah.
[26:58] You just happened to be that ball fucking.
[27:01] Might start a slap fighting in
[27:03] years before it ever happened.
[27:05] Oh my gosh man.
[27:06] Me and my cousin, we used to slap box all the time.
[27:08] Rufio. That motherfucker used to get me, man.
[27:11] That motherfucker used to light me up.
[27:12] I'm like, all right, we had fun.
[27:15] My birthday beat that.
[27:16] That was one of the best. Birthday every day.
[27:18] Like you punched him in the face and he's like, yeah.
[27:20] Yeah, he should beat the brakes off each other out there, right?
[27:25] We got the concussion.
[27:27] That was Mikey's for Mikey game back because Trent broke his ribs
[27:31] that.
[27:31] You know, he just doesn't sound like a healthy family.
[27:34] No they jumped these.
[27:36] Bro jumping
[27:38] 1616 to jump you into a gang that doesn't exist.
[27:42] Oh, he's. On the ground. Yeah. What did that.
[27:45] That's what he's kicking in France.
[27:47] It's like.
[27:48] It's like kids and.
[27:49] Shit, man. Like, what the fuck? At the park type shit.
[27:52] The skateboarding. Every. Every birthday.
[27:54] It's like, well, when's again his ass whipping? Where?
[27:57] Yeah, yeah.
[27:57] Like, God damn.
[27:59] Y'all, they got me at liberty.
[28:01] I never forget that one. Because they got me good. They.
[28:03] They surrounded me.
[28:04] And I'm like, I got this.
[28:06] I'm boxing all three of them.
[28:07] I'm lighting them up. I was like, y'all ain't getting me.
[28:09] And then I started noticing Mikey and he bigger than me.
[28:13] He ran in me and I'm like, where the fuck this motherfucker?
[28:15] I paid him out.
[28:16] Mikey, what the fuck?
[28:17] Next thing you. Know, I studied KP.
[28:20] He disappeared on me. I'm like, fuck, this is me in Trenton.
[28:22] We bomb, bomb, we banging, and he he does it.
[28:26] Had this laugh with him and he would go, hey.
[28:29] And I'm like, oh fuck.
[28:30] He did that laugh. I'm like, they didn't set me up.
[28:33] As soon as he did that laugh, KP then got behind me.
[28:36] He's on the ground.
[28:37] Yeah, he just pushed me. Boom.
[28:39] I fall over and as I'm going over say that's the moon right there.
[28:43] I'm looking at the moon.
[28:45] My cousin's big ass is in the air like this.
[28:47] And the moon got blocked.
[28:48] He's by the belly flop.
[28:50] Boom lands on me.
[28:51] I black the fuck out for a while.
[28:53] I'm like, shit.
[28:54] He barely flopped on your face.
[28:56] No, he belly flop.
[28:58] His whole body is on my body.
[28:59] Like all the air that I had.
[29:01] And then me no more.
[29:03] I don't even see him jumping like that.
[29:04] Yeah, he just fell over on him.
[29:07] Anybody just fell over on you.
[29:10] To me. Look like he. Was in the air.
[29:12] Goddamn.
[29:13] I mean, first time ever.
[29:18] When I came
[29:19] to, I was like, yo, baby, y'all good, I appreciate y'all.
[29:22] Happy birthday, I appreciate it.
[29:23] Thank you for the brain damage.
[29:25] Yeah. Like, what is wrong with you, man?
[29:28] You ain't raising your children like this.
[29:29] I know they don't.
[29:31] Do, but kids don't jump each other and each other.
[29:34] Like we used to.
[29:37] We used to blast doing that shit, man, that was fun. Yo.
[29:40] Awesome idiots, man.
[29:42] We had fun doing that shit.
[29:44] Mike got just the right amount of brain damage.
[29:45] We just, like, beat the woman.
[29:48] He held on to the fucking Jeep,
[29:50] driving down the road, just getting drunk like, let go!
[29:54] Go, fucker.
[29:55] He fell right out the back of that bitch had the back of the jeep,
[29:58] but he jumped to the back, was beating his ass.
[30:00] We got up in the motherfucking jeep.
[30:02] He jumped to the back and the.
[30:04] We got someone, you know? Yeah.
[30:06] Handsome. Humble is just his birthday.
[30:08] Yeah, it's his birthday. Birthday?
[30:10] Let's drag this motherfucker.
[30:11] Fuck him to a Jeep and we're beating him.
[30:13] And he was playing football.
[30:15] We caught him playing football.
[30:16] We knew where he was at because he was on the field with a player.
[30:19] On playing life like it's fucking dazed and confused
[30:23] now. They
[30:24] just run up to the field, you know, just like police right there.
[30:28] You find them, right?
[30:29] And you just get out and beat the shit out of the motherfucker, right?
[30:31] And then it's. What's up? Yeah.
[30:34] And this next person's turn, you know what I mean?
[30:36] He just happened to get in the Jeep, fall out.
[30:38] Now he's getting drunk on the street. You know what I mean?
[30:41] Because, see, the motherfucker jumped in the Jeep, right?
[30:43] He jumped in the Jeep. Now I'm driving because he jumped in the Jeep.
[30:46] Now, he had broke Mikey's ribs fucking, like, last year.
[30:50] So Mikey was pissed off, right? What? I didn't know.
[30:53] So it's okay to jump your family member for their birthday?
[30:59] Yeah.
[30:59] And if anyone gets hurt, you then hold that
[31:03] as a grudge for the next birthday to be able to beat it.
[31:07] No, but Mikey had this.
[31:08] Mikey was pissed because Mikey
[31:10] said he was going to get his ass anyway, because Mikey knew what he was going.
[31:12] To do.
[31:12] So that's exactly what I just said.
[31:14] Maybe some of them.
[31:16] Maybe so. Doesn't hold that.
[31:19] That's why he thinks that the children are all going to beat his ass one day.
[31:22] All right, guys, somebody's going to do it. I know it's coming down.
[31:24] I just know what's happening. That's inevitable.
[31:28] It's like.
[31:29] Saying it's like when Rocky fought Mr.
[31:31] T and got his ass beat.
[31:33] Like, I know it's. Going to happen.
[31:34] I know it's going. To happen. I'm gonna have to get back up, though.
[31:37] Yeah.
[31:37] You know, it's all about getting back up.
[31:40] So we're out at the field.
[31:41] We see them, we get out, we parked them off the bench. Boom.
[31:44] We park it right there getting his ass.
[31:47] We beat his ass, right.
[31:48] Rufio is kicking us, motherfucker in the head.
[31:52] This motherfucker guy still toe boots on, kicking this motherfucker in the head.
[31:55] We didn't know that.
[31:57] This motherfucker warriors boots that day would still toe.
[32:00] And he's kicking.
[32:01] Off his kick.
[32:02] The boy in the head.
[32:02] They're so fucking.
[32:05] We all run back to the jeep, man. We're in. The Jeep.
[32:08] And now he's got a concussion.
[32:09] Now this motherfucker, he gets up and he is piss pissed, right?
[32:12] So he runs. He jumps to the back of the jeep.
[32:14] I'm like, fuck.
[32:15] So he might not have had a concussion until you drive off in the Jeep
[32:18] and he falls off. Well, this is it.
[32:20] We ride. And I had a windbreaker back here.
[32:23] This motherfucker laid it on top of the windbreaker,
[32:25] so he's holding on, and somehow he lost his grip.
[32:28] Slid out the back of that bitch on the windbreaker.
[32:31] Bow hits that bitch, and it's getting drunk
[32:33] now by the goddamn cheap because we're bringing the car
[32:35] on to the shit on the back of the Jeep.
[32:37] It's caught him and the jeep. Yeah, yeah.
[32:41] He finally let's go or something.
[32:43] Let go.
[32:43] And he ends up rolling off into the ditch somewhere and we're like, fuck, man,
[32:47] we got to go back, check on him right quick.
[32:49] We checked out. He was just mad.
[32:50] He didn't want to fuck with us that day.
[32:51] But the next day we was cool again.
[32:54] You know what I mean?
[32:55] Just par for the course type shit.
[32:57] Y'all don't give a fuck back.
[32:58] Then we did.
[33:00] Because, remember, we were going to leave. Jimmy.
[33:02] Jimmy! Jimmy! Don't fail. Wait. I was there.
[33:04] Yeah? Yeah.
[33:06] So you were going to leave me in the ditch too?
[33:08] We ain't. Look what else to fucking do.
[33:10] Right around the. Corner from the house.
[33:11] Yeah, he's only about 12 houses up.
[33:13] He can. Front of his house? Yeah. From his.
[33:15] So he fell in a ditch and couldn't get out.
[33:17] And you guys couldn't figure out how he just got out.
[33:19] He got too high.
[33:20] Yeah.
[33:21] So to do, he was smoking.
[33:22] We had a double barrel bong, right.
[33:24] And fucking he had this banging ass.
[33:26] We we was all getting fucked up, boy.
[33:28] His homie was there and his homie have you as an EMT, right?
[33:32] This motherfucker lives right next door, right?
[33:36] And he's talking shit to my man's little man.
[33:39] Just like, man, you ain't going to be able to handle this week.
[33:41] So he's packing a I'm watching him pack this fucking bong with this fire ass.
[33:46] And I'm like, God damn, man, he gonna fuck that dude up.
[33:50] Well, Smokey was like, man, let me hit that.
[33:52] Because the dude was like, man, I ain't going to fuck with it.
[33:55] Like, I got it.
[33:56] Smokey's hitting this shit, right?
[33:58] And he's like, fuck, man.
[34:01] He's like,
[34:01] I don't know what's going on, but damn, I should have cleared this by now.
[34:04] So he's just study hitting this shit.
[34:06] I mean, hitting this shit.
[34:08] Smokey is extremely gassed up now.
[34:11] Have you?
[34:12] It was me.
[34:14] Smoking was in the middle.
[34:16] Chippy was over here.
[34:17] Jews over here.
[34:18] You got my man Paul and Andy.
[34:21] They're on the other side of us right now. Paul.
[34:23] Got a cigarette?
[34:25] Next thing I know, Jimmy just goes and falls
[34:28] across me, so I thought he went to punch me and like, miss.
[34:31] So I'm like, oh, we got your ass, motherfucker.
[34:34] So he on the ground, me and chippy,
[34:36] we just started stomping this motherfucker. Yeah.
[34:38] So wait a minute.
[34:39] He fell down?
[34:40] Yeah. We thought he might have had an aneurysm.
[34:43] He just passed out.
[34:43] He just fell down and he said
[34:47] it's a song for him.
[34:48] They got defend themselves.
[34:49] They're like, oh, he must have swung and missed.
[34:51] Dude, you're standing still.
[34:54] Who's the bitch down? You stop him.
[34:56] You see?
[34:56] No fist like, swing by closely, bro.
[35:00] You know what I mean?
[35:00] Like, you presume that Jimmy swung on you or attempted to step on his gaze.
[35:05] What happened? Other.
[35:08] So he goes.
[35:08] So y'all start kicking him while he's in the ditch.
[35:10] We start with him, we beat him. We're like, oh yeah, we got you.
[35:13] So we think he's going to get up and start swinging, right?
[35:15] So we run off real quick.
[35:17] He's on their money.
[35:19] Oh no no no no no.
[35:20] Paul is standing on the top over the cigarette.
[35:22] He goes.
[35:25] Don't tell me.
[35:26] Hey y'all.
[35:30] He's not moving.
[35:31] We're like, fuck what?
[35:33] He ain't moving. So we run back real quick.
[35:36] Now what are your whole friend group is retarded.
[35:38] Y'all got brain damage based on brain damage to each other.
[35:42] We turn this motherfucker over, right?
[35:44] We turn him over his mouth.
[35:46] She's all blue and purple, like, fuck you.
[35:49] Fuck. What are we going to do?
[35:51] I said, yo, Andy, you're the EMT.
[35:53] Go do something. He goes. I'm off the clock.
[35:57] This goes, I ain't got my bag.
[35:58] I'm like, bitch, your house is right there.
[36:01] You're trying to do some shit, do some shit.
[36:04] You know I'm saying.
[36:06] That saying we know fucking Smokey pops right back up like.
[36:10] Oh yeah, you see Breaking Bad,
[36:13] like when he beats the shit out of the dude at the fucking junkyard.
[36:16] He's like, don't forget who you're working for.
[36:17] And he's like, why would you say that to them, man?
[36:21] He beats the brakes off and he's like,
[36:25] like shimmering and shit
[36:27] like on the floor, like like falling apart, having a seizure.
[36:30] And I figure out somehow you can't take the ass, woman.
[36:33] Bitch.
[36:33] We're trying to figure out what to do with Jimmy
[36:35] because Paul's like, yo, man, he can't be in front of my house, dog.
[36:39] And I'm like,
[36:41] all right,
[36:41] what we're going to do, we're going to wipe him down
[36:42] and we're gonna put him in
[36:43] a ditch over here, and then we know we'll get up as dad or something.
[36:48] You know what I mean?
[36:48] Because his dad at the time was a sheriff, you know what I'm saying?
[36:51] And everybody's like, all right, we can hit his dad up. No problem.
[36:54] What the fuck are we going to tell his goddamn wife?
[36:56] Because bubble head, she'd be a whole nother fucking mess.
[36:58] The story right there, right?
[37:00] So when we went down to pick him up, he pops up and, like, he's talking to us.
[37:05] Like he was still in the same conversation that we left off on.
[37:08] But he has a rock down in his eye that he plucks out.
[37:11] You know what I mean?
[37:12] Who did this Smokey, Smokey pull the rock out of his eye
[37:16] because he felt the hat on the ground and y'all beat the shit out of him
[37:19] because he because he just passed out or some shit.
[37:22] Yeah, like he literally passed down.
[37:24] The fuck out. Yes.
[37:26] Dangerous people to be friends with, yo.
[37:30] Like we were always doing something stupid.
[37:32] They were physical. Yes they were.
[37:35] And see this.
[37:37] He wasn't able to come out sometimes like the time
[37:39] he did come out when we had him drive.
[37:41] Remember when we drove the trucks and I hit my head with the pole?
[37:44] Yeah. And then you took off.
[37:48] Where was I doing some bullshit, right?
[37:50] I was like, yo, it's my turn.
[37:53] You had to drive my car.
[37:56] KP was with us, man.
[37:57] Me and Smokey, we're out there and fucking shit up.
[37:59] I got the pole in my hand.
[38:01] I see this motherfucker drums. I got my nail.
[38:03] This bitch, bro, fuck this bitch.
[38:04] Up I go hit this bitch, bitch.
[38:07] Motherfuckers metal.
[38:09] Yo, I hate this motherfucker with the pole.
[38:11] Came back, hit me bam.
[38:13] All I see is bright shit.
[38:15] Bubbles. Just doing this number.
[38:17] Yeah, I hear this motherfucker go car.
[38:20] Scott.
[38:22] He takes off in my shit.
[38:26] I run. It after the car cause Smokey's like, get the pole.
[38:30] Smokey jumps in the car, I get the pole, I'm running after the car.
[38:33] That's my fucking.
[38:34] He ain't slowing down. He's going faster.
[38:37] He said why can't might catch up, bro.
[38:39] I'm fucking hard ass.
[38:41] Still concussed y'all. I'm still blinking like a motherfucker.
[38:44] I'm running the motherfucker. Go.
[38:46] I get ready to jump.
[38:47] Now I'm getting ready to jump in the back seat of my own shit.
[38:49] This motherfuckers.
[38:52] It's the brake, bro.
[38:53] I smack nor bow.
[38:55] Fuck it.
[38:58] I'm on the ground in the middle of the road.
[38:59] I'm like, fuck, this bitch is going, yeah, get your ass out.
[39:04] The car is coming out. I.
[39:13] Oh, man.
[39:16] We have some fun.
[39:18] Yeah. That's surprise.
[39:19] We ain't getting trouble.
[39:21] No shit.
[39:21] We have some shit. We did the dump.
[39:24] We did man.
[39:25] Oh, God.
[39:32] As a kid, breaking into fucking chestnut for going.
[39:36] Oh, my God, you know.
[39:37] What kind of. Damn it.
[39:39] Yeah. Night and shit. You know what I mean?
[39:42] Jump in the fence.
[39:44] You're, like, bringing logs.
[39:46] A little. Different those times back in the day, man.
[39:48] I mean, Mike's committing, like,
[39:49] vicious assaults on people all throughout his youth.
[39:52] Well, there in a day.
[39:54] Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[39:57] Right.
[39:57] For dinner? Yep.
[39:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[40:01] I'll see you at the fucking, you know, dinner table because.
[40:04] After school.
[40:05] We then we go to sheets and get the hot
[40:07] dogs and shit and the Jigglypuff and be bullshitting and
[40:10] chilling, talking shit, laughing about what the fuck we'd have done.
[40:14] I said wounds and shit.
[40:16] Recovering, man.
[40:18] I'm there with, like, an ice pack on the side of the head.
[40:20] Yeah. Boy, you really busted my head up, man.
[40:22] Yeah.
[40:24] I'm gonna get you on your birthday.
[40:26] Yeah.
[40:26] Should I have a cousin, man? This motherfucking big something.
[40:29] The only person in my whole entire life that ever scooped me up and slammed me
[40:33] was my motherfucking cousin.
[40:35] Yo, this motherfucking man,
[40:36] he come over the house, we was talking shit or whatever.
[40:39] He like Andre the Giant. Did you? Yeah, he.
[40:42] He scooped me right before.
[40:43] The only person has ever gotten me off my feet and really scooped me.
[40:46] Was this motherfucker here, man.
[40:47] My cousin blockhead back this motherfucker I forgot.
[40:50] What the fuck? He was talking shit.
[40:52] He was like, cause I'm bigger than you now.
[40:53] Cause I don't matter me.
[40:54] I would still fuck you up, right?
[40:57] We started slap boxing.
[40:58] Body slammed. You and we slept boxing.
[41:00] We go in and I'm lighting his head up.
[41:02] The motherfucker just aren't even knew how fast the motherfucker was able to move
[41:06] like this.
[41:06] Because this size, it didn't make no sense.
[41:09] And he scooped me and boom!
[41:11] Drop me, all right. On my motherfucker.
[41:13] I was like, fuck!
[41:14] Then he gets on top and I'm like, oh, this big Suffolk bitch.
[41:17] I said, I got something for your ass, though.
[41:19] I screw it up. Got on the back of his head.
[41:21] I'm choking this motherfucker. I'm hitting him.
[41:23] The top is fucking it.
[41:25] That was good times. I got pictures of that shit to
[41:29] day. Back
[41:31] guitars, man.
[41:32] Good times.
[41:39] You haven't raised your children to be this.
[41:41] I guess maybe you've learned something.
[41:44] Well, it's just different times.
[41:45] Kids don't do this.
[41:46] Times kids don't even slap box no more.
[41:49] They don't do none of that shit, man.
[41:50] Yeah, but we're raising a bunch of.
[41:52] Right?
[41:52] Nobody's slap boxing and beating their cousins on their.
[41:56] Slap box for the fuck of it.
[41:58] My cousins had set me up one time.
[42:00] They had an uncle I never forget.
[42:02] This motherfucker scared the shit out of me.
[42:03] We was little.
[42:04] He come walking to the house and said,
[42:06] yo, man, your uncle looks like a bushwhacker.
[42:07] They're like, they started laughing like a telemark.
[42:09] I'm like, okay, cool. I'll tell him.
[42:11] You mean like
[42:11] the guys from the wrestling with the hats with bites taken out of the brim?
[42:15] I did. He looked just like one of them.
[42:17] He was coming in the house with a fucking great wife
[42:19] beater on, had the scruff and I'm like, damn ball.
[42:22] Like kind of not bald head, but like balding.
[42:25] I was like, I'm gonna look like a bushwhacker.
[42:26] Like, yo, go, hey, tell him because I'm like, all right, cool.
[42:29] I'll tell him. Camouflage pants while.
[42:31] I sit your night. He had the camouflage pants on.
[42:33] Everything with the fucking bites. Take it out.
[42:35] I thought he was missing. That's the shit, right?
[42:38] He come in the house. They come in licking people.
[42:41] And they yell, God, that was nasty shit I forgot about.
[42:44] That's what they did.
[42:46] You by your face and you.
[42:52] Look at kids.
[42:53] Now think about that.
[42:54] That's actually disgusting.
[42:56] They just grabbed random people and lick their faces.
[43:01] Bad breath on your fucking face.
[43:03] All day knowing that. Yeah. Oh.
[43:05] You smell like a.
[43:06] Breath away because of the motherfucker bought it.
[43:10] You know, they on it.
[43:11] That's eight ball jack all day. Oh.
[43:14] Oh yeah. Fuck that.
[43:15] Jack Daniels raw.
[43:17] But they uncle. Come in cocaine.
[43:19] And I told him I said man. Hey, you know, you look like a bushwhacker.
[43:21] And that motherfucker got pissed.
[43:23] Yo. Come here. So I can lick your face and.
[43:26] Pick my ass up in the air
[43:28] like this and have me up on the wall and was just going off.
[43:32] Don't you ever do that. I was like, what the fuck?
[43:35] I say, you, my cousins are losing.
[43:37] Just like the big blackish and then picked you up off your feet.
[43:40] Yeah, my cousins are losing.
[43:42] My cousins are laughing.
[43:44] So because he's fucking with me.
[43:46] But I didn't know that I thought he was dead serious y'all.
[43:48] I'm like, what the fuck?
[43:50] I'm scared out of my mind because this motherfucker
[43:52] picked my big ass up like it wasn't shit and had me up on the wall.
[43:56] I think I was like 11 or 12 years old, dad.
[43:58] I said, man did some bullshit.
[44:01] So fucking he let me down because I'm crying
[44:04] and he's like, I'm with you boiling.
[44:06] What the fuck? My heart beating the shit.
[44:07] I look at my cousin like, y'all motherfuckers. Sorry.
[44:10] I'm gonna get yours later on tonight, you know?
[44:12] And that's how it is that all this started.
[44:14] Was that the catalyst? No. The catalyst.
[44:16] Start beating each other's asses.
[44:18] Oh, we've been doing that.
[44:19] We were fucking on the wound type shit, man.
[44:21] I remember y'all came out fighting.
[44:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, me and my cousins, we used to fight all the time.
[44:26] I mean, all the time.
[44:28] My cousin.
[44:28] But one cousin almost killed me a couple times.
[44:31] Smother me.
[44:32] Almost drowned.
[44:34] Yes. He tried to drown you.
[44:35] Yeah, he tried to. Drown it up.
[44:36] And so y'all consider this shit fun?
[44:39] Like there seems to be something the matter with your, like, sense
[44:41] of, like, interaction, if you will.
[44:45] I don't.
[44:45] Know, that's just how.
[44:46] We were, like we used to try to kill each other. Really?
[44:48] Yeah. Yeah, I pushed him off a cliff.
[44:50] He tried to drown me.
[44:53] Shot him with a bow and arrow.
[44:54] He stabbed me with a knife.
[44:56] Well, my sister shot me in the eye with a penny for the slingshot.
[45:00] Penny
[45:02] with. A screenshot.
[45:03] She said he wasn't a dime boy and she could have been blind.
[45:07] I did, my motherfucker.
[45:08] I had my own shit up.
[45:11] Damn, that's a hell of a shot.
[45:12] I tell you, your sister did this.
[45:14] Yeah.
[45:16] My mom? Yeah.
[45:17] My sister was evil, man.
[45:19] She hurt me with a sparkler one time.
[45:21] Right on my face.
[45:22] We was outside 4th of July.
[45:25] Did y'all beat her ass for her birthday?
[45:27] No, no, but we fought me and her.
[45:29] We were getting fistfights.
[45:30] We would actually get the fighting, but it got to a point where
[45:34] I knew if I made her cry, if we ever fought, I made her cry.
[45:38] Then I just put my hands up and be like, look,
[45:40] just don't hit me in the balls of the face.
[45:41] And then just let it out.
[45:43] Let out whatever. How bad I pissed you off.
[45:45] Just go ahead of me.
[45:46] You know what I mean?
[45:47] Like, because I knew it was wrong for me to hit her, you know what I'm saying?
[45:50] But sometimes she would do shit
[45:52] where I ended up having to fuck her up.
[45:54] You had to hit a lot of people to learn
[45:55] that it was wrong to hit her at some point.
[45:57] No, no, no, no. With her it was different because that was my sister.
[46:00] You don't hit girls, you know what I mean? That was.
[46:01] I know you. Know, it's your cousins, either.
[46:04] My cousin.
[46:05] That's supposed to. Anyway. Maybe on occasion.
[46:07] The boy is supposed to be some regular birthday thing.
[46:10] Like a birthday.
[46:12] We got cupcakes or a cake we're going to like.
[46:14] That's the present.
[46:14] Here's some presents. Right?
[46:17] Maybe said no, we're going to go find you
[46:19] on your birthday and beat the shit out of you.
[46:21] And like, or it wasn't even Jimmy's birthday when he fell in the ditch.
[46:25] You know, I fucked him up.
[46:26] Y'all just fucked him up because he fell. Yeah,
[46:29] that's all.
[46:30] It was.
[46:30] Trapped.
[46:31] So he stopped yard to hit somebody ground back then.
[46:34] I guess it stopped yard when they hit the ground, you know what I mean?
[46:37] Like, don't get pizza, all right?
[46:38] Or not, me don't matter. It's on the ground.
[46:41] Yeah. Stop him out.
[46:42] Don't worry about the health
[46:45] of the friend of yours that just landed on the ground.
[46:49] Fuck that. Hit him!
[46:51] Kick him!
[46:52] Bro, we used to do this in the warehouse, I worked it, it got worse in the wet
[46:55] when the. When I found out the warehouse dudes do this shit.
[46:58] Oh my God, bro, we was in the warehouse causing hell we would beat niggas
[47:03] ass, wrapped him up in plastic, stick them on a pallet and drive them up
[47:06] to the manager's office and set them out from the manager's office.
[47:10] Yo, the managers,
[47:11] when it was their birthdays, they wouldn't even come back to our area
[47:14] because they knew they'd get their asses handed to them.
[47:17] We didn't give a fuck.
[47:18] You know, you live in an alternate reality, bro,
[47:22] but that is like alternate reality ville.
[47:25] Like that's big Mike ville.
[47:27] You're the mayor of it.
[47:28] Like you're like, yeah, man, we just hit each other for no reason.
[47:31] It would be like, I never forget my man Butterbean.
[47:34] He works for the town.
[47:35] Back in the day, when I met this cat, man fucking.
[47:38] We used to go around slightly each other in the back of the heads.
[47:40] We'd be in school. POW, pow! Motherfuck!
[47:42] Got me today.
[47:43] I'll get your ass later, motherfucker.
[47:45] You see him walking powder?
[47:46] There's something wrong with y'all.
[47:48] That's what we did, man.
[47:50] I just got.
[47:51] To be putting hands on somebody.
[47:54] Your hands to yourself, God damn it.
[47:56] That's mad.
[47:56] Well, like I said, kids don't do shit like that no more.
[47:59] Nah, I think they might be too far in the opposite direction by now, but.
[48:03] Yeah. Yeah.
[48:04] Because that was the soft parenting.
[48:06] Change that shit up. Yeah.
[48:08] You can't you don't fight with your siblings
[48:10] like you usually do, like my grandma, son or daughter.
[48:13] They do this
[48:13] like it's like you remember Punch Buggy, but they do this shit called yellow car.
[48:18] Any yellow car, they just punch each other. And I'm like, all right.
[48:21] When it gets to a point where I'm like, all right, y'all doing too much.
[48:23] It's calming down a little bit, you know what I'm saying?
[48:25] But yeah, but that's nothing like
[48:29] I broke my cousin's wrist because I pushed him down
[48:31] a flight of stairs because it was his birthday. No.
[48:33] Yeah, yeah.
[48:34] I mean, like that. Like.
[48:35] But that sounds like something y'all would do.
[48:37] You haven't brought up a story of pushing your cousin down the stairs,
[48:40] taking a risk and shit like that.
[48:42] Sounds like.
[48:45] Yeah, that's again, that's extreme pushing somebody that.
[48:47] Is that extreme. We caught him. Ready?
[48:50] Jimmy fell down in front of us and we started punching and stopping him.
[48:55] Then he was out cold.
[48:56] Then he had a rock in his eyes
[48:59] and he pulled out of his
[49:02] man. Man.
[49:03] He obviously he found.
[49:05] The rock decide when he fell.
[49:07] But here's the thing. If
[49:11] if y'all go, I see I can almost running.
[49:14] Out of stairs, bro.
[49:16] But god dang
[49:18] all the shit you said.
[49:19] It's not attention, but he's on the ground and we can't get punched him.
[49:22] You really want to kill us.
[49:24] About trying to kill him?
[49:26] You push him out.
[49:26] Of the stairs like you really want to kill him.
[49:29] It was only a couple stairs.
[49:30] You always want. To hit him. Yeah, yeah.
[49:35] Right.
[49:36] It was like one of those level house stairs.
[49:38] But it was the top stairs. The 40.
[49:40] Like the 5 or 6 stairs going up and splitting the floor.
[49:45] Either way.
[49:46] Yeah.
[49:46] No, he broke his wrist because he landed like a bitch.
[49:49] Like y'all just awesome.
[49:52] Shit, man.
[49:53] Does not sound at all like the I don't.
[49:55] Know, we we had real good time.
[49:57] Strange family dynamics.
[49:59] But nobody but you.
[49:59] All the kind of family that nobody fucks with because it's a beat each other's ass.
[50:02] So if you fuck with one of them, you got all
[50:06] pulling out knives.
[50:07] And that's just how it was.
[50:08] Like my cousin, me and my cousin, the one that scooped me up.
[50:10] He hit that.
[50:12] I need your help.
[50:12] Hey, I'm on the way, you know, I mean, I hit him.
[50:14] Because I need to create the plastic handled steak knife.
[50:18] He said the plastic handles.
[50:21] I'm bringing that serrated dog.
[50:24] Yeah, I got you.
[50:25] Because I guess that was kind of thing, because, man, like.
[50:29] Yo, the word y'all.
[50:31] Crazy motherfucker was like, man, these motherfuckers be wild.
[50:34] But we had fun, though. We we started from.
[50:37] We just don't do that no more.
[50:38] Yeah, that's the family you don't fuck with
[50:39] the ones that are, like, beating the shit out of each other all the time.
[50:43] You know what I mean? Just for the hell of it.
[50:44] Just for the hell of it.
[50:45] Just because they fucking or 20 today.
[50:47] Yeah. It's funny to.
[50:48] Them, like my. Brother,
[50:51] people like, my jaw hurt for weeks after you accidentally punched me.
[50:54] Y'all beat the shit out of each other on purpose and be like, yeah, man.
[50:57] I had my ribs broken by my cousin from a birthday blackout.
[51:00] I never forget them in the house. He goes, hey bro.
[51:03] He goes, I know you're strong, but I gotta move them and put you in that.
[51:06] You ain't gonna be able to get out, man. You ain't stronger than. Me, bro.
[51:09] They fuck with that. Got a job.
[51:11] Will tear your arm out of the socket because you gave me the opportunity to
[51:15] spare for I watch that.
[51:17] Put me in this lock where I was basically choking my own self out
[51:20] and I'm like, fuck.
[51:22] I'm looking at as one of the night where I've seen the moon again,
[51:24] I've seen the moon and all that shit starts going black like this.
[51:27] You know what I mean?
[51:28] Yeah. And I'm like, oh shit, I'm blacking out.
[51:30] Hey, bro, tapping y'all.
[51:32] This one forgot me on the ground. Now he on the ground.
[51:34] Where the.
[51:34] Your tapping your arm.
[51:36] Yeah. You're like oh, oh.
[51:39] I'm still tapping right.
[51:41] I'm in the middle of the street in front of the house where I lived.
[51:43] I'm in the middle of the road.
[51:44] We outside.
[51:45] He's like, no he's got it.
[51:47] Yeah.
[51:49] That's that's is able to say it.
[51:51] Yeah. Got you see you can't get out. Can't you bro.
[51:53] You can't get out.
[51:54] We laying on the ground, bitch. No I can't
[51:59] fucking.
[52:00] Temperature bitch.
[52:01] Let me.
[52:03] I'm black in.
[52:03] The fuck down right now.
[52:07] How's that?
[52:08] Damn it, you son of a bitch!
[52:09] This is not healthy.
[52:11] And this is not a healthy family dynamic.
[52:13] I mean, if he was having more 30s, you know, then that's an issue.
[52:17] Maybe, but.
[52:18] But other than that, because I don't know.
[52:20] All that's brain damage, all that shit.
[52:22] Y'all just giving each other brain damage, like.
[52:25] That's ridiculous.
[52:28] I'm saying, like, I get it.
[52:29] If you want a slap boxing or whatever, like, punch each other, whatever.
[52:32] Like, okay, but like, y'all are kicking each other on the ground and shit like,
[52:37] this sounds like being jumped into a gang every birthday.
[52:40] Yeah, yeah, you can basically say that.
[52:41] Yes, exactly.
[52:43] My family. So I get. To hit you.
[52:45] But it was always love.
[52:47] Nothing was ever done out of malice.
[52:49] Wasn't done out of just hatred.
[52:50] I don't know, it sounded like your cousin homeboy went kicked, dude with the steel
[52:54] toe boots on some.
[52:55] That was getting back. Yeah, definitely.
[52:57] That's what I'm saying.
[52:58] Man, I push you down the stairs, break your wrist,
[53:01] kick me in the head, dog.
[53:03] Guess what? I'll put you down the motherfucker.
[53:05] In your own motherfucking. House.
[53:07] And stomping on your fucking hard to your wrist breaks.
[53:12] He was.
[53:13] Because when he broke his ribs from, like, damn.
[53:15] Yeah you did.
[53:16] Your ribs are broke. Us.
[53:17] Shit. Damn. Fucked up.
[53:20] I'm gonna get that.
[53:29] That's what it sounded like.
[53:31] Down, man.
[53:32] Look at that look.
[53:37] Yes, that's it, mate.
[53:38] That's it.
[53:39] That's not a healthy family dynamic.
[53:42] Like two coaches beat a man to death.
[53:45] He said, get up, bitch.
[53:48] Wild boy, young adult.
[53:55] Good times, good times.
[53:58] I always had a blast, though.
[54:00] Always had a blast.
[54:02] Yeah. Look at you, bro.
[54:03] You over there like reminiscing, man. Oh my God.
[54:05] Yeah.
[54:06] When he reminisce over you family angel
[54:09] fucking ass.
[54:12] Yeah.
[54:12] Get down, big Mike family.
[54:15] Beat the shit out of each other.
[54:16] You one minute because they beat your ass.
[54:18] To be my.
[54:19] We share stories back and forth about motherfucker.
[54:22] Remember this time? Yeah. You bitch. I do remember that shit.
[54:24] Yeah, man. I'm telling you, motherfucker.
[54:26] Coming me with the steel toes. Because there's some bullshit.
[54:29] Because of his family tradition. Shit. Yeah.
[54:32] You can't.
[54:33] Steps that. I'm a man on your arm.
[54:35] As soon as you land, you're going to be like, what?
[54:37] The snap. Oh,
[54:40] that.
[54:40] And broke your arm to bitch pushing down the steps and broke the fucking arm.
[54:44] Look at him graduate to claw like
[54:46] I'll come at you with that claw, boy.
[54:51] That will pull you up.
[54:52] Snap your motherfucking head off the ground.
[54:54] But I get out his carpeted motherfucker.
[54:57] Black out.
[54:58] Yeah.
[54:59] See, that's that's the extreme part, that.
[55:01] That's what.
[55:02] You can't play like that in my family, dog.
[55:04] Motherfucking.
[55:05] The goal scorched earth and.
[55:09] You know.
[55:10] He said his family scorched earth.
[55:12] Yeah, I can't handle that. That's not acceptable.
[55:14] It's a Tuesday.
[55:15] Yeah, yeah,
[55:18] I'm burning up.
[55:18] Cousin's house down.
[55:19] Sure. Shit.
[55:21] Please, gentlemen, with that said no.
[55:23] Yeah, we're gonna have to bring this episode of stupidity to a close.
[55:27] I'd like to thank you for listening.
[55:28] Yeah. Sure enough.
[55:29] Do you like to encourage you to listen to old episodes when there's new episodes?
[55:32] Lisa, don't do that.
[55:34] Like you subscribe,
[55:37] stupid.
[55:40] Keep grinding on the shit you trying to get done.
[55:42] Because that is how things are going to get done.
[55:43] We believe in.
[55:44] You trying to be nice to people
[55:45] that look like you, and nice people that don't look like you. Don't be a dick.
[55:48] Well, gentlemen, keep moving forward, right?
[55:51] Don't forget, we love you very, very much. Love, y'all.
[55:54] We wish you nothing but the best.
[55:55] All day, every day. And peace be with you. Go!
[55:58] Where the fuck is my goddamn.
[55:59] Phone at this bitch?
[56:04] This is a more like narcotics.
[56:06] So it goes.