The Mason and Friends Show
Episode 24 Transcript
Generated from the supplied subtitle file.

Ladies and gentlemen.
What?
Once. Once.
Once again.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, hello.
Hello, Mason and friends show once again.
Once again.
What's a square way over there, I think so.
Episode number 24.
Barring any technical difficulties. 24.
That means the next motherfucking 25th and motherfucking first.
Three 25th anniversary episode.
That you have.
Next episode coming up.
That's gotta be fucking epic. Primed up.
Primed up. Primed up.
Oh, the fuck are we gonna do and talk about?
That's just gonna have to be something.
Oh, you know, that's right.
Now there's my problem.
I just needed to turn up my headphones.
There you go.
Now I can hear myself, I.
Then I can hear myself.
I can hear myself.
Well.
Can you hear yourself?
I think I always hear myself.
I think you do, too.
You were listening to the ass, motherfucker.
You know what I'm saying? You know that, right?
Oh, yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the masonry French show, ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, watching just how much we appreciate you.
Love, y'all.
We love you.
We love you so much.
It's a. It's a start.
You didn't tell me. Like where?
You didn't tell me where we got people
newly tuned in to from.
You know, it doesn't appear anybody's newly tuned in.
All right.
We get the same old crowd.
It looks like I haven't seen any recent Germans
get on there at all, so, you know it is what it is.
That's cool. Love, y'all. Still listening?
We have the gator steer if you actually are tuning in again.
So what's up?
Good in your head?
Well, nothing much. Just a
hopefully going
to be closing on this house here this coming week.
Be out of that.
That's semi nightmare.
What else was up?
I see y'all bears your rest. Hands on one.
Yeah, yeah, we did all right.
The Redskins came through for me I was pleased.
Once again.
This isn't a football show or a fantasy show, but hey, sometimes you got a brag.
Once again, my Kareem Hunt and my CJ Anderson came through on my running backs.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
But we're gonna see what happens.
Hopefully Aaron Rodgers will hold me down.
Get me through this week with the W cam.
Well you know
you just you're just hating on him because, he's not a Chicago bear.
You know that, right?
So if, Aaron Rodgers were on the Chicago Bears,
you wouldn't have a problem with him, right? No. Love him.
Of course. Of course. Since they represent your.
Go, go.
This is a cheese eating motherfucker.
He can cheat his head on on over there.
Where yet?
Yeah.
You guys are pretty anti cheese heads, aren't you?
We're at all cheese. Yeah.
I'm like.
You're lactose intolerant.
Super cheese.
Choosing super entities.
Super anti.
I am super anti-Chinese. Like do you get.
Do you get bacon burgers.
You skip the cheese.
I mean you got that bacon on your fucking Hamburg.
Oh saying like do you skip the bacon.
Do you skip the cheese and the bacon cheeseburger. With cheese.
I'll get back in hamburger.
Back in the back of t burger.
I got my fucking back a hamburger.
Yeah, well, that is like pure commitment to, exactly what you're talking about.
You know what I mean?
Like, you're so anti cheese.
You have bacon burgers, you skip cheese on your ski.
You don't have cheeseburgers. Yes.
Because it's just a seasonal thing.
Like, do you only do that during.
Our I'm saying like, beer.
I was just trying to be the hamburger. I need a cheeseburger. Hammer.
You never have cheeseburgers?
No, but if I can take some banging on that bitch.
Oh, you know that, right?
Oh, I'm always having bacon.
On my back and make everything better.
But there is no doubt about that.
I'm definitely having some bacon on my motherfucking burger.
We stopped over just one spot because the traffic was fucked up,
so he was going to get drunk for a while before we got into traffic,
and they had some brown sugar bagging over that motherfucker.
Jack had like, bacon, but it was like laced with brown sugar.
That was off chain.
Bacon with a little sugar is pretty dope.
That's a lot.
It's like a whole crustacean on the outer whole.
I can kind of deal with bacon like, however, however it's made.
Yeah, you can't go wrong. You can't fuck up bacon.
Oh, yeah. Let's you burn the fucking.
I did try bacon.
Yeah. I'll eat some burned bacon.
I don't know, baked begging for like six hours.
One time it's like.
Oh I'll, I'll eat bacon blackened.
I don't mind blackened bacon. This is past blackened.
Past blackened.
Yeah like I like I started in the morning and night knows.
And so like you put it in when you got up.
And then you were gonna make dinner
and you're like, oh shit, I forgot about the bacon.
I was cooking for breakfast. I was like, making breakfast and shit.
Not threw bagging in that bitch.
I guess we don't already ate it.
We still had some bagging leftover in the woods from cold,
but I didn't know it until I started making dinner and pulled the oven out.
I was like, oh, we're preheating still?
Oh no, we still begging. Begging.
Oh wow, that's live action.
So yeah, that's pretty much that.
Was that's pretty I don't know, I think I still would have tried to eat it.
That fast going.
I don't even know. Nah.
You and eating that shit.
You ain't no one on that.
You wouldn't even go lick the Greeks.
That was fuck up. That's bad.
Six hour cook, if. You could. Well,
that does sound a little excessive.
I usually go, like, maybe 20 minutes would be long on my bacon.
Minutes is long gone. Begging six hours. It's.
Damn it don't matter what temperature, mama.
Unless you cook that, like, on four degree.
But I think the oven don't go down to four degrees.
So either way,
it's right. Aaron, set the fuck down.
Take a nap.
Call a sack, bitch.
But yeah, my bears suck.
Yeah, your bears really do suck, man. That's a shame.
So good that my told him.
I told him I was watching that shit.
I was like, yo, bitches burn up putting the fucking goose egg on the board.
Yo, Cadbury motherfuckers.
And I seen them put it.
They don't put seven up for the end.
So I was happy.
Yeah, they got seven, seven.
I was, I was calling it.
Well, you know any points are better than no points.
I mean I think like I said, we were told day
on one of these at one of these episodes,
I think I predicted the bears only get like 50 points all year.
I didn't even do wins.
I was just like points.
I took good of a team.
They're gonna be, I think, these many points, a win.
That's that's it.
That's how you be telling them.
Y'all got like four touchdowns.
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah.
It'd be like, oh hey, who's my running back?
Well.
Yeah.
If you're running backs, Felicia, you'd be like, Felicia.
Y'all need Felicia on your line.
Felicia.
Yeah, yeah. Oh.
Man. I played I played golf the other day.
Got some professionals, man.
In my fucking fucking rob me, man.
See, but these pros, right? They they're pro golfers.
But that means, like what? They made it in like one tournament.
Like they, they they had like that one good game one time.
Like like let's say golf like Rene.
Professionals because you pay them to teach you how to play. No.
They're professionals
because a fucking score they put up like the one dude.
Like so.
So is that it?
Like, if I go put up a 62,
like on a regular basis, then suddenly I'm a professional golfer.
Call you professionally cockeyed, bitch. Yeah. God damn right.
Because, like, par for a golf course, use like 70, 72,
which means, like, if you're shooting.
If you're shooting at 62, you're ten under.
So you're gonna win. You're ten under.
You're like Tiger Woods when he was good, I guess it would be, what.
15 Tiger Woods when he still had the whole train rolling.
Yeah, like 2000 Tiger Woods. Not like nowadays.
Tiger woods, like 2000.
Tiger Woods fucking around on his wife.
Tiger woods, pretty white girl, Tiger woods. Someone.
He was a good. Pre white girl. He was with all girls, man.
Tiger was tearing it up all over the place.
One white girl start beating.
Fuck out of beating was.
That was his wife. That was his wife.
She came after him.
He smashed up his car and.
Everything was white. Correct?
I don't know, her name was Felicia.
Her name was not fucking Felicia. Her name was like.
Or even Nina Evans.
Ebony. Yeah.
Like Felicia. Ebony.
She was like when that white girls.
But like Swedish, Denmark and Denmark.
And then she was a Dane. Yeah, one of them.
My name was like some shit, I guess, like a mermaid name, you know,
I mean, bishops. Oh, she was like a European.
Like an Eastern European white girl.
Yeah, she's like one of bitches. You buy shit?
Yeah. She's like where she was from.
Oh, I see, she was.
She was a, imported bride.
Yeah, she was from Waterland. That's where she.
Mail order land. She was in a catalog. She.
She was. That's why I skipped her up. Man.
That ain't fucking way we get off the fucking subject.
Oh, what is the subject?
Do we have.
To think?
I was trying to talk about something,
but then you want to start talking about some goddamn shit.
Of course, I don't ever know what the fuck I'm talking about when I'm even know
what the fuck I'm talking about, let alone when I don't know what I'm getting at.
But we was talking about. That's right.
He's talking about fucking old fuckers taking my money and shit.
But then they take me money.
I was trying to hold good, but was talking about like.
Like we used golfing.
We. Where is golfing? I think it's like a 71.
So if you shoot zero over or zero under
and like that'd be a your score on both will be 71, you know what I mean?
Like I'm shooting 102. Okay.
So you're not a professional.
Fuck no.
Did you know the dude I was golf with?
This is my fucking shoot like a 73.
The other dude shot like an 80.
Well, why would you play with these people?
Well. Who's this?
I had no choice, man. It was like.
So your tea time came and they were going off at the same time.
Now I roll with them like I like.
I told my, I told my people was like, yo,
we need to golf.
And he was like, yeah, that my shit fell through.
I was like, all right, bet tea time tomorrow, 1:00.
He's like, all right, cool.
So the next thing you know,
about an hour later, his phone rang and this boys is calling I'm talking about.
Let's go get this tea time. And he's like, well, the guy was set up.
You could join with us.
So I like, fuck it.
Come on with it.
So we we go for them and,
But yeah, I didn't really know they were super, super good.
Of course they want, they want but money.
And they used to, they like, they're like bet a lot of money.
Like. What do you mean like a hundred a whole.
Not like a hundred a whole, but it's
I mean, it usually been like a dollar or $2 for this
and then the other, but you could end up being 4 or $5 down a whole
if, Well, yeah.
I mean, that could turn into 50 or hundred bucks.
Oh, yeah.
Depending on what kind of shit they got going. So.
But I ain't do too bad.
Like I said, we.
I lost up six bucks.
Yeah, that's not too bad. That's not to me.
I figured they were going to be blind.
I was like, yeah, I got I got like 60, 80 cash.
I mean, I figured I was going. To get real.
Like because I was looking at me fucked up.
When I first get started and I, I, I grabbed like
15, 20 balls out the back
a little bit up.
There like, oh, what? You don't need one.
I only take one out when I play.
I got three balls in the whole bag.
Dude, you just pulled out like 80 of them.
I and that was there was a couple of times.
It doesn't bode well for their expectations.
Kimmy ball fucking. I'm taking it right here.
Give me a ball.
I don't even know where that went there like I do.
Throw it in the woods. It's like fuck, I play it.
So that was my live action.
Like they was.
They gave me a stroke and they.
Still give you a stroke.
Every fucking hole, every single. Day gave me a stroke.
They did. They gave me a whole stroke and I still suck.
I was like, oh damn it, man.
Because there was a couple times where I played that course
before and there's been certain holes, like five banger.
I got five times hit the motherfucker.
I'll be on that bitch.
I'll be dancing like Kevin Bacon on like two.
You know? Three.
I'm a third shot. I'm stroking like Kevin Bacon.
Oh, it's like that. You get footloose.
Where? Yeah.
Wranglers fit nice, but.
But fucking yesterday. Shit.
There wasn't no motherfucker safe like there was.
There was a couple times I was, I was hitting the ball on the other hole.
The already don't fucking play
like I was backtracking like a motherfucker.
I think the one time.
So not only could you not play, you were steady, confused.
I was fucked up because there was one time I was, I was golfing on the back nine
and I hit to the I hit the like hole eight
on like the front nine like that one.
I thought like it was crossing.
Like the holes go one way and then they go another way.
And so you were. Like going back this way.
And then we're just going back this way. And I hit it this way.
I thought it, I thought I hit fucking Bob out there.
We need an out the back by the club by his little fork.
Because that my first like super left.
So it'd be like if you were at the driving range and you
hit the cars like you hit the parking lot instead of like the 200.
Yeah, that's kind of like that. Yeah. It kind of went 200.
Maybe for that 200. Oh, shit. I hit the cars over there like.
200 yards left.
Not straight. Like it was some serious shit.
There was a couple of couple of them I just hit and I'm like,
I don't even know where it went. I'm gonna go ahead and drop another one.
Try the game right here.
And then I was like, yep, nope.
I'm already on shot number six, 90 left tee box.
Okay, I'm just gonna drink.
I'm just sit up here on the cart and watch you all play.
I'll take my L. Y'all just go ahead and put an L.
Y'all finish up. What y'all doing?
We obviously lost this hole, so I'll pay you all up.
I'll keep on.
I'm gonna get fucked up. Try again.
But that I'm losing a lot of money
because they went to the bar
and then.
Do you got the first round?
I got the second round and my third four.
Maybe my third, fourth, least my third.
So I, you know, I still went out spending like 90 bucks out there at the bar after,
you know, I'm like, what? God damn.
And I lost six bucks.
Damn.
You had a rough day, didn't you, man?
A rough day at the golf course?
I mean, I lost.
I mean, I ended up losing a decent amount of money,
but I was probably gonna go
spend on titties anyways.
So. So do you think your money was better invested at the golf course
or at the strip club?
I saved
by golf. Golf?
You saved by going off the strip.
But I can't Geico.
For sure.
So you didn't have to call God go
to save money.
You just had to not go to the strip club. I just had not go strip club.
I was like Saint the whole time thinking, fuck, fuck, you got.
What you got to do is find yourself a bitch that works at the goddamn golf
course that's attractive, and just go and be like I want.
I bet her titties would look pretty cool if she didn't have her shirt on, but,
you know, close enough. Amazing.
That'd be amazing.
On that. I'll never do that.
Well, that's that's the way I do it, man.
That's why I don't go to strip clubs.
Because I'd just be looking at.
I'd just be looking at bitches and imagine I'm a naked.
I'm like, that's good enough for me.
If you don't have to imagine them naked because you're a strip club,
there should be a.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but girls.
But girls that I'm imagining naked I can touch just as much as I can touch.
The girls that I can actually see naked at the strip club.
So, like, if I just imagine them naked, then, like, I'm saving money,
and I didn't even have to call Geico.
I'm saving way more than 15%.
I'm saving 100%.
Yeah, you don't say 100%.
You wouldn't touch him. You can touch them.
Well, I mean, you know, some of them are pretty cool,
but I'm not looking forward to be like, you know what I mean?
Like, if they tell me to get the fuck up.
Out of that year until you pay up, once you pay up, once you get that dance.
Be like, thank you for your money.
And I get the fuck up out of here with your titty grabbing ass.
There's going to walk off. Score.
I like the way you to eat my nipples, but get the fuck out of the club.
Scurry over there next month.
Scurry over there where the money had to flow.
Some dollars at the flow.
That's what they'd be going.
Well, I like good and Bobby ones where the trifling bitches is.
Ain't really worried about, you know, the full almighty dollar
like that motherfucker Paradise City back, man.
Couple years ago that we read a spot, man.
Take my handle up in that motherfucker.
My two living on my ice.
My four, five, six cups.
That's a bio.
Be strip.
Club, be massive near me
and Jay, man, we'll be getting fucked up in that motherfucker, man.
The come by, just sit down bullshit beside us, man.
We sit down bullshit.
I put my dugout in that motherfucker.
I take a little dugout, hit on the table, man.
Give a stripper grammar to the bitch bitches like, all right, then
I really wanted cocaine.
But I'll take some marijuana, you know what I mean? That's fine.
I'm like, we'll just watch out,
bitch, cuz this motherfucking bold fucker is looking at me.
Mr. Cleans cousin.
So you better handle him.
So I take my little head on the table.
She could back the dressing room, take her little hitting,
her little fucking her little cubicle shit.
You know what I mean? Because she was her.
She had that privilege.
I ain't had that privilege.
She look out for me, so that's cool.
But then next time, we'll go in there.
My first start
getting ignorant, smoking blunts and that my shit, like, not even hide it.
And then next thing you know, we got like, smoking passes to go outside, smoke
cigarettes, this and that and the other and he's motherfuckers.
Everybody's all fucking fucked up.
They got this little one Mexican little, my little used to be a little.
I seen him grow up.
I'm like, well,
you know, when I started coming here, you was a little fucking door, man.
Then you moved up to the fucking register,
and then you moved up to the edema burger.
And now you need the manager, motherfucker.
How do you think you.
I mean, I contributed a lot in your fucking upcoming, you cockeyed bitch.
Don't be coming at me like you.
Fucking correct.
Because you better know you fucking roll, you bitch.
Because I know God damn well at least had 4% of that Kia, so fuck.
You, fucker. Like I said.
So you feel like you made at least one payment
on this motherfucker's key? You've seen him come up all the way
through the whole system at the strip club.
I mean.
I made a payment on every motherfucker's up in that kid.
And you can ask Jay.
I would guarantee that.
I mean, I guarantee you cosign on that because.
Well, that's.
Like the rain, but there's plenty of times it was sprinkling and drizzling
up and down.
Fucker. Jack, I'm trying to take it, man.
You were like a glistening morning, dude.
You're like the morning dew. That was one thing.
I don't make it rain, I make it morning dew, bitch.
Come on. Fucking round the moist.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't saturate the ground all the way through.
I ain't gonna stop the morning. I ain't gonna stop the fire.
But I'm gonna make your car.
You know what I'm saying? Get a little frost up on that bitch.
Crooked chicken.
I'm putting up frosting on that motherfucker.
And spending. My antennas.
Yeah.
I'm fucking.
I'm putting frost on your car and I'm fucking touching your titties.
I remember one time we went down.
We went down. Where the fuck we got?
We got.
It was a landing city, I think I went.
Down there were like 4 or 5 my people.
And that's what they were doing.
Grandstanding hot dog.
Somebody ain't got the money.
And I'm like, well, this fish are paid for y'all.
But bring in.
So we roll down here and I think I got just I, I cleared a stack of hundreds.
Stack of.
Hundreds and I gave one to everyone that was with me.
There was like 5 or 6 of us.
There's like, here you go. Here you go. Here you go.
Here you go. Here we go. Here you go. Art. Then I'm going.
I'm going this way.
So that sounds completely ridiculous.
I was fucking insane.
I had that, I had to claim money.
That was chick fil A. Money? Yeah.
Everybody got their own stack, Jack.
I was like, when I invested in the Quiznos.
Not when I lost my ass.
I was making it rain like a fucking joke, Jack.
Of course. Demo figures.
They're all like this motherfucker right here.
Like everybody.
They all got together, apparently,
and took my money because I gave them and they all bought me.
They all contributed towards one dance for me, that's the deal was like Big Steve.
He like, man, I want you to pick on these females.
You know what I mean? Because I got you.
She's going to come over here and rub her ass up on your face.
And I couldn't find one that was fitting.
It was hot enough.
That was fitting the feast.
So I'm like, because I of course I was being too picky.
It was almost like I was beaten, like I was trying to find a beat, apparently,
you know, because. You were trying to find out.
What a beat.
A beat.
Oh, you're a picky like you are for your beats. Yeah.
Apparently I missed her raps a lot, but I can't wrap on that.
See, like, that's like, I like that.
That's like, I'm picky with my women's shit.
Like I'm picky with my cars like that, you know what I mean?
Like, I'll wrap on anything, but I ain't gonna drive.
But any car, you know what I mean? Like.
I just don't have any stripper grinding up on it being on this earth here, man.
That's why I'm single.
If you have any one old bitch.
They have that criteria.
I don't know what the criteria is,
but a stripper bitch is going to bump in the bubble.
They're going to have some kind of criteria.
To me, that's like a..
Yeah.
I caught up on some strange other day.
Not really.
I was up here Safeway.
Know you was at the safe way and you hollered at a bitch.
I don't think I heard.
I don't think I told.
You, tell me this
because I want to know how to holler at a girl at the grocery store.
Like I see cute bitches at the grocery store.
And I'd be like, damn, I don't know if that goes 17 or 37.
Like, what the fuck?
What a 17.
All right, so I'm sitting there, right?
I'm in the lot and I'm thinking to myself,
of course, I'm not gonna lie, I was drunk, so I'm sitting in.
That does help. Would you try to pick up at the.
Grocery store? I was able to talk to her, but don't say.
What did you say?
What'd you say. To her?
So I'll sit there, I go there, it's like.
It's like eight,
eight, 830 on a
Wednesday or Thursday or something like that.
So I go in there, go in there, grab dinner real quick.
I'm going home, work, suck rap, frozen chicken wings
and, Frozen chicken frozen pizzas. Right.
See, now, that's that's how I be rolling out a grocery store.
So I feel like I shouldn't talk to these bitches because I got, like,
two frozen pizzas in a box of Cheez-Its, you know what I mean?
Like, they're there with, like,
hummus and motherfucking, like, lettuce and tomatoes and shit.
That I how that.
I could dig that I can dig that.
So I put my shit up on there, and I'm looking at this chick and I'm like,
man, I find that whoever grandma that is, you know what I mean?
She would definitely get it.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
So it's my turn to get rung up.
So I so she she first right when she get ready started ringing me up
like the one chick is paying for her. She she get my shit.
She she grabbed my chicken wing.
She's like oh chicken wing or something.
That's a good shit right there or something basically.
You know man, I'm like, yeah, you can't go wrong with no chicken wing.
And then and then,
she hit me up.
Did we talk about we ain't talking about.
Oh, we talk about this. So does she rang me up.
You opened with chicken wing line.
Well, no. Does she open? Oh, wow.
What the fuck just happen here.
So then she opened up. So then,
You know.
She. Told me.
Yeah, I like I like chicken wings, and they can't go wrong with chicken wings.
And I'm like, yeah, that's good shit.
And, so she starts to bring him up and she's like, all right.
1633 or some shit like that, 1603 or something like that.
Three three must be your lucky number.
And I said, oh, well, shit.
Yeah, three's definitely good down on the slots
or on the, on on the table, man.
I might have to throw down.
I might drop three on the table, you know, with me some money.
And she's like,
well she's like, oh yeah.
You know, I'm like, yeah.
Because if you play your cards right three when, when twice out there,
you know, it's craps.
And she's like, yeah, I never, I never played that.
You know, I'm like, I might
I mean I start I said I that's what I, what I eat with Daddy Roulette.
You know what I mean.
Whenever it goes Charlestown and she, she goes, oh you going to teach me that.
Teach me how to play that game?
And I go.
I'll teach you whatever you want to know.
I said, all right. I said, well, fuck.
I mean, I'm going there Saturday.
If you want to go, I, I mean, I'm going there.
Sorry. You can roll if you want, you know what I mean?
She's like, oh, fuck yeah, that's cool.
That sounds cool. And I'm like.
Well, let me get your number, baby.
Well, at this point there's like four people now behind.
Me, man.
Fuck those motherfuckers. So you ever see that movie?
The Departed when the.
When Matt Damon standing in the elevator trying to get that bitch's number, like.
Yeah, yeah, I. Seen that part. He goes, not in. I'm a detective. Don't.
Don't give it to me. I'll find you.
She looks at him and he goes, no playing.
Give me your card.
Hey, I, I ain't hit her with that smooth line shit.
Like that. Some smooth. Shit, right? Well, that's what I mean. But that's what.
But that's what it was like.
Like I didn't want it to be that asshole, you know, 20 minutes for clothes
and holding up these 4 or 5 different people. So.
But I showed up.
Fuck those people. I got that bitches number I don't like.
Well, give me your number, baby, cause I'm. I'm gonna hit you up.
Well, that it was that and that I really didn't want.
I really didn't want to get turned down and had the punk ass fucking bagger
say something to me, because then I was going.
To be.
He was gonna be like, yeah, yeah, I beg your groceries, but I beg your bitch to
that.
He's gonna. Be like, that's when my grandma turned you down.
And then I then I had a fucking bump and I was like, I don't want.
So wait a minute.
Was she like, old? Old? She was an old girl.
You know, I like me some old.
Gray hair, but I got great hair. I ain't nothing wrong with that.
Ain't nothing wrong with that. She won 20, but she won 80.
Who know who else got gray hair?
Diane Keaton.
I'd fuck the shit out of old ass.
I mean, I don't know how old she was.
I don't know, I don't know, justified number.
But I'd be telling people I got with The Godfather's wife after they got divorced.
So anyway, so I'm like, all right, let me get the fuck out of here.
And I'm like, all right.
Well, I was like, well, shit, you work tomorrow?
She's like, yeah.
I said, well, I'll tell you what, I'll come back tomorrow.
We'll talk about it.
So I roll it out. So
I go in there Friday.
The next day I had to,
I think I had to turn my movie
and get get some more chicken wing, I think because I need more chick
waiting for dinner.
Because you be going through some chicken wings.
On my first chicken wings. I need to get refill on that.
So do you fry those or do you bake those?
I just bake them cause they're already pretty done.
Oh, I see you just pop in their lives.
Bullshit or whatever.
You know, they got, like, a crispy cross or like, a shake and bake kind of thing.
Only they frozen.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah.
So I go, I go back up I, I get up I'm in her eyes again, you know,
and Wait see what about the next night.
And she was there again.
Yeah. Because I told her. All right, all right.
Because Thursday, it was Thursday when I went up there and I got on my shit.
I said, well, what you doing wrong?
You know, you worked for.
She goes, yeah, that's all right. I'll come back.
I'll come back tomorrow. We'll talk about it.
Yeah.
Well, see, you didn't strike. What? I was hot.
That was Wednesday. That was Wednesday.
So I said, I'll be back tomorrow, which was Thursday.
So I gotta come back and get some more chicken wings.
Maybe went back there.
And these frozen pizzas.
Tomorrow we'll come back for more chicken wings.
I sat there and I started fucking bullshit with her.
And, you know, I put my shit up there and I'm like, you know, how you doing?
I said, you, this is how you doing? I said, I'm doing all right.
I said, you having a better night than you were yesterday.
I'm better. Now, baby.
You know, that's why I hit her with you.
And then she's just like,
yeah.
I'm like, all right. What gets this bitch?
Don't remember to fuck I am.
Yeah, you're just another one in the thing.
I wanted to go and be like,
oh, see what?
You don't remember me from yesterday?
He had to be like, say, bitch, I was only here 24 hours.
Go by a chicken wings and frozen pizza telling you about the fucking craft
table and shit, bitch. What's wrong with you?
You want to go 30 scraps? What? You want to learn how to play?
Relate to me? That's desperate.
Oh, to you, that's desperate. No no no no no no no.
I can see that being coming off as desperate.
Because I know who she is.
If she was talking to me, she should.
All right, all right. Okay. So
outside looking in,
her job is kind of like a server or bartender.
Just you. Just another one. Be nice to. Wipe it.
You're just another face in the crowd.
So you she hit.
She fake hits on her half. Hits on every nigga she see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She let a little badge lip slip out.
Every time somebody coming around.
She'd be like, oh, let me.
This was a little, this smell like.
Smell in my connection.
I'm thinking, I'm getting ready to bang this motherfucker down real good.
And I'm getting cookies or brownie or some Joe Louis. Right?
Right after.
Like, can I get some JELO. OJELL to the.
Can I get some of these jiggles? What's up? Free.
Pretty fun. Right?
Can I get somebody jiggles, do a little pudding.
And by the time we done, the Jell-O won't be congealed
and everything will be good money.
Thanks. Bye. Scoop.
Around six, 530, she made the gelatin gel in the fridge by six, you know.
Ten. Ten, 15. It's time for Jell-O.
Oh, you know what I mean?
If it's just the one package. So
seven points, motherfucker, she ain't shut me out, bitch.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, get a pulled off another motherfucking sun.
But that's the.
That's where I was at.
So we are. So we.
I didn't go to Charleston Saturday.
You didn't go?
Well, you almost had a date to go with you.
That's better movement than most.
Yeah, but like I said, I don't. I'm mad.
I don't know,
I think I, I bullshit it back on it again when I went, like I said, when.
I went. No, like I said, you didn't strike. What?
Iron was hot. You should've been like, say, boo.
Give me your motherfucking number
and I'm gonna hook you up with these craps tables, learning.
And then I'm gonna throw this dick up in you, and we're gonna have a good time.
And guess what did she say?
What did I say? You're going to drive.
Oh. You're going to drive.
That's how I. That's going out of here.
When I hit her with that shit.
Like that way you can play with my dick while you driving.
Have a nice time.
I'm gonna sit there, too. Passenger seat.
Cuz I shouldn't be driving at night. That's right.
I'm gonna sit there at the pastor seat and drink and let you play with my dick.
I really shouldn't have been driving that night without cause
if I work up the courage or how that some randomness
in public like that, I definitely.
Yeah. Like that.
That happens.
Like I was drunk in a waffle House, was flirting with some chicken.
I was like, man, I got to go.
I got a problem.
This is a big issue right now.
Fucking drunk. I'm drunk and shit.
I done drove an hour, got a hotel, and I'm trying to get this waffle House
waitress up in the hotel with me.
Man, I'm fucking wasted.
What the fuck's going on over here, man?
My mail. That's my mail.
And these motherfuckers right here.
That's about Mason.
Three fake weed pills.
I gotta call these.
You got the three fake weed pills?
Yeah. What are you talking about?
We're free. Faintly. Pills, man. They're like. They're.
There are THC pills or something,
but they help with, like, anxiety and this and that.
Like, they're the.
They're the medical hell. You got medical grade.
I got, like, the medical kind of like.
But not really, but.
Like like is it.
Is it the synthetic. Shit, man? I don't know, man.
I'm not open them because they're going back
because he's motherfuckers is getting me, man. He's like.
How much they cost?
Shit, man. Motherfucker do.
One was like 80.
The other motherfucker's like phony.
Like I was checking my bank account.
I'm like, oh, what the hell? Wait, so did you join?
Wait, did THC pill club in a month or something?
I mean.
I thought I signed up, I signed up for a free trial, something.
I got a little hit of it a couple months ago.
I thought I was on a free trial,
but I think they got me on one of them, like, one.
And it's one of those. You get the first one free and.
No, no, it's like, Like a sex site.
You get the first one free to be.
Like the girls Gone Wild.
They gonna sell you one video
and then keep sending them to you and not let you opt out.
That's what they doing.
So these motherfuckers love me up, Jack.
Like, so now I got.
I tried to call him.
Where are those coming from?
Los Vegas.
So they, they probably real.
Yeah they probably are.
I got like a nice seven county motherfucker.
I wouldn't even want to send him back.
I wouldn't want to take them anywhere.
I'm like, yo, y'all got to take me off of this list, man.
To me, I'm about to call him because I'm out.
But like you have to say, I'm a return to sender.
I don't need that shit.
I don't need that shit wrong, dudes.
Roger, he don't play for you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Mason and friend show.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen.
So. But yeah, I got them.
I got these fucking weed pills, man.
And that's the whole shit. This shit.
Helping the sleep and help with the stress and help and.
Oh, yeah.
No, no is not as helpful. As fuck. Big.
I take them.
Well. There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Shit about to be.
Let alone take a pill.
For real.
Like a mold.
Yeah, but that's a lot better of a natural sleep
aid than a lot of this mountain since they got out there.
Yeah, they're taking the indica pill.
Then fucking drink myself to sleep at night.
It works pretty good.
You saw me sleep right here on the couch and you didn't walk in on me.
That wasn't one of them.
It's like. That definitely passed out for a second.
I did, I did.
Yeah, I knocked and I didn't hear nothing. I said, fuck, I'm walking. In this.
Did you not just walk in?
Yeah I said click, click, click.
It popped the door. I said, hey.
Pandora, when
I sent you, I'm like, all right, good thing is him, he's supposed to be here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cuz if it's some other motherfucker, I probably have an issue.
He go get this candle thrown at his ass and I'm gonna try to run dragging
my dudes dudes real quick.
Yeah, I'd be like, you know, get the fuck up out of here.
Who the fuck are y'all?
Y'all stand, you see? 222.
22. You got the deuce deuce on him. Yeah.
I'm gonna pop the deuce deuce on.
Him about 12 times in a knee.
Hey. Well, yeah, yeah, 12 times.
And then he.
Now I hit him once in the hip, and then I hit him with the hammer.
5 or 6 knives while I laid on the ground. Yeah.
Shoot him to bust out the.
Sledge shooting once and then pistol weapon him.
Well, it's kind of half assed done. No.
Fuck that.
You better off putting 3 or 4 in them while they standing in the doorway,
you know, let them get through the door.
Don't clip. The deuce. Deuce coming out.
I'm unloading all of my fuckers.
And I'm calling boy to make it work, Ma.
And I'm gonna sit right fuck right here.
And I'm like, well, fuck.
Let me go and hide all this.
Murray, Maria, Mary, Mary Lane. And,
And I back.
Yeah.
I like that jump.
Sister grandstanding than I thought.
Yeah, yeah,
I. Felicia.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Set them up, bitch.
Yeah.
No concentration.
Just waiting, sitting back. Just bacon.
How the fuck they doing, man?
I'm waiting on the bacon.
It's been like eight hours I'm awakening in the morning.
Rolling slow, cooking this shit.
Now I'm yawning.
I need some eggs.
I'm gonna scramble them
because they're easier to deal with them rambling around the kitchen.
It's all good. There's no bitching.
There's no switching.
I'm releasing.
I mean, releasing how the fuck?
Going back and forth. I'm teasing.
Just pleasing myself in the morning, waking bacon.
And now I'm in the jerking, doing my thing.
It's all good, man.
I'm working slowly through the life.
It's so Holy shit man.
Riding slowly with that.
Got a whole other thing.
I gotta flip back and forth trying to sell this house.
Trying to move this thing,
trying to get this mouse dead before the neighbors see it,
before the house owners that are about to be the new owner see it?
Yeah, it's all good.
I hope they don't kill my snake.
He's living in the basement, and I leave him alone.
It's a great little arrangement.
It's like
that he be eating all the mice and rats.
It's all good.
I'm like, have some of this bats.
It's all good, man.
I'm coming across with the snaps, passing back and forth with the happening.
Anybody seeing this place, I'm rattling around in side of my head.
Understood? Understood.
With the next pronunciation. I'm good.
Well, who's the next one in the hood?
Riding slow slowly around.
I'm getting slowly around. I'm getting slowly.
My hound.
My whole town is down
I've got the townhouse around the corner I got the end unit.
It's all good.
I got the splendid.
Fish out.
On the park
I want it.
Back.
It's all in the park I won't.
Nothing goes down,
nothing goes down.
I wasn't involved, though. Blackjack? No.
No, nothing.
A nickel bag is sold in the park.
I want an end.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
So raps a lot is like, totally offended.
Descended moving around and prevented I mean defended himself
on the Madden on this.
He don't play back and forth.
He's not dragging
dragging teeth, getting pulled like mesquite out the side of the house.
I'm about to beat anybody I see in the street.
It's like something else.
You could be with the beef that I ha.
Where the teeth, yo, they like hens.
I'm out here losing looking. Depends.
Pass the Benz.
Oh, slowly. In the Acura.
Moving on down the road I could pass it.
Oh, yeah. I got you in the backup.
Tied up next to the tub.
Woofers losing your brain. We got the headache.
It's like making you insane I like a ride.
Slowly ride. Holy, I got my.
Holy moly.
Everybody control the ball.
Yeah, I use it instead of a tie.
I think it's so much cooler.
You like to fry eggs and chicken in the morning or the evening?
I got a deep fryer with a top on it.
Yeah, it's like that.
I keep it clean. I used to work at restaurants.
Know what I mean?
I know what I'm doing.
I got the sheen.
I got the gleam all up on the wall.
Everything is slippery.
But I clean it up using some sort of anti grease remover.
It's all good.
I'm old school.
I'm back inside like he Shula throwing the ball
for an interception, but no one understands.
Can't get my reception, It's like this with my perception inside of my inception.
My dream world be spinning walls around backwards.
And the whole ceilings turn it into the ground. It's all good.
I'm losing my sound, I'm insane.
And I'm astounding myself and anyone else that's around
surrounding my house like the DEA did in March of 15.
Some of these things going sideways, if you know what I mean.
And this
is too slow for me to rap on so I can try it.
But I'm a psychic of this.
Once.
I should go over.
I guess.
So I want.
Take it, take it, take the baby dick.
Take the baby dick.
Because you want to. Girl you screaming like that.
Say my name.
Slap my own cell phone. Yes.
Have you ever had a soup?
Fucking good. You want to slap your own ass?
Cheek history.
Cause it happened to me only one time of a life I was sucking in.
I was sucking in the breath.
Going real fucking deep.
Trying to get my bow down.
Real discreet.
Next thing I knew, this was on the street.
They were talking at me, knocking on the door.
Cause they want to bother me.
Are you busy enough standing in my drawers.
Cause Dick hanging out in this soft, hard.
Sorry about that.
What you're looking at that don't call the man on me.
Cause I just answer the door with a soft porch up.
It ain't my fault.
Your father and me.
Y'all cannot see the lights turned off.
Can't you hear? Shoulder screaming off.
Moaning, soft moaning, screaming my name.
Slapping on the ass.
Pull up my nibble and grab my hand.
Let me put my finger in your ear.
Give a dry with the girl. That's what you want to hear.
Oh, she said.
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much
for listening to the 24th episode of the Mason French Show.
We'd like to thank you so much for being here.
If you're still listening,
then you must be your friend of the Mason and friends show. Oh.
And we certainly do love you.
Oh, we. Will see.
We will see you next episode.
Hey! Oh!