1 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:20,453 Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to another edition of the Mason and friends show
featuring the Jew Unit. Hey!
Ladies and gentlemen, this lovely
episode is episode number
23, 23, 23.
Man, so did we go on to have the motherfucking.
So we're gonna have to do one more tonight.
And then do it. 25th anniversary episode.
25th motherfucking anniversary.
25th episode.
Anniversary coming up.
Hey, man.
Yeah, yeah.
You got to figure out something better.
We got to figure out something.
We don't have to do some damn. We're gonna have to have.
We gonna have to have something.
We need to still get real big
where we can get some goddamn motherfuckers a holler back.
Messages just said the blue blue.
And then put the fucking to put the damn.
The the projector jump right here.
They had my fucking sheet up on.
We don't even need a seat on the wall.
Just take the pictures right down to two pictures.
I got set up on that wall right there. License.
When you want to have a projector of a chat room so people can talk.
To us. Fuck.
I'm talking man by that one time, man, I'm dickless ass.
Statements that I make are my non answerable questions that I fucking post.
You know what I mean?
Non answerable questions.
I do ask a lot of non answerable questions man.
You know what I'm saying.
You do ask those you do you post those sorts of questions.
You tend to bring them up.
I don't know how I do it I don't know where to come up with.
Oh my God.
We just man was up there at the motherfucking hula hula hand.
Hula hands, hula hall of hand. Who? Hula?
HOULI know a some.
You mean to one up at from.
Maryland. He's in Maryland.
Okay.
Who's hand they'd be doing that there, too?
They'd be doing over there.
They serve motherfucking
pictures of Long Island iced tea and that motherfucker just eat that.
Pictures.
A fucking picture.
That bitch was like a fucking 40.
At least.
That's disgusting, man.
Looked amazing.
I mean, you know, if you're trying to get drunk.
I didn't do the trick.
$10 and I paid $5 for a Long Island.
You give me a whole pitcher for the fucking ten.
It's $10. Yeah, you.
That's what I'm saying.
You paying $10 for not a long island in regular glass.
That's the kind of shit, like.
Anywhere, you know what I mean?
This is crazy. Nights.
I had some crazy nights with the Long Island iced tea here.
And they had different kinds. Use a bartender.
You know, about different kinds.
I mean, I just thought that it was just a regular jump, but they know
there's all kinds of different fuckers.
Everybody's all about mixing it up.
They all got there.
Oh, I'm so particularly special with my mixology bullshit.
Like, shut the fuck up.
Talking about like, not even Long Island, this shit. Like.
Yeah, no, like, I mean a Long Island right there.
Soco and Coke or some shit like that.
Yeah, but it's all the same principle.
It's all the same principle.
We're going to put four, five random liquors and liqueurs together, spritz
a little bit of fucking sprite and Coke on top of it
with a splash of sour, and call it a fucking drink.
That's about it.
Oh, that's the way it gets done.
And like you, no good for you if that's what you're into. But,
I don't know.
It's kind of like, I don't know, motherfuckers
want to just get drunk all the time.
I mean, like, really drunk.
Drunk like shit faced on a daily basis.
It's kind of rough, man. It's pretty rough.
I don't drink a face, but I'm gonna definitely be on cricket patrol tonight.
It sounds. Like you definitely got to be on cricket patrol.
I think he's outside, though, man.
Like, cause it's not right there.
No he's not.
He sounds right there, but he's not right there.
I don't know, we got these headphones on him should.
I can't tell where the hell I think that fucking.
Headphone off the motherfucker
still sound like I busted off one right over there in the corner.
So I think the he.
The one was trying to fuck the other one, but he couldn't. He.
But you, you cock blocked him in the fucking dirt.
Well that was in he was false advertising because he got here.
Hey girl. Hey.
Hey girl. Hey.
But he ain't the outside wall.
How the fuck you third wall, Mr.
fucking Cricket, you know.
Don't be fucking hot
dog in in the grandstanding if you can't get through the goddamn wall.
Grandstanding and I.
You know, say, damn, Pittsburgh, that's some shit.
Oh, wow. Look at this, dude.
You got the gun in this motherfucker's face, and.
They got so many fake cops and.
He's playing close cops.
What is it?
Is that a tourist? No, that's a cavalier baby.
Is that a Cavalier?
Chevrolet Cavalier Z 24.
These motherfuckers, they are doing it.
Hey, I put the gun in his face, and this just poor little dumb ass girl's face.
White girl man.
But the cricket man. I'm about to get that money.
You got a real cricket problem around here, man.
He outside.
He got me outside.
Sound far, man, sound too far, man.
I'm about to go out there
with my flashlight on my phone and look for his little fucking ass.
See, I always feel like when I watch episodes of cops,
I always feel like, man, y'all need to leave those dumb ass people alone.
They got a life is fucked up enough, you know what I mean?
Some of those people, they're like, yeah, you bet they better off.
It's like, why don't you just leave that motherfucker alone?
Like, you really think sending him to jail
or fucking searching underneath the goddamn carpet in their fucking car?
Holy.
They got the needle and everything.
Who? See?
What are you going to do to help these people out?
What are you going to do now that you've criminalized the heroin addiction?
They got these. They got they got multiple needles.
There's two of them in the car. They got two needles.
These people aren't trying to get each other all fucked up.
This is trying to get.
They're just trying to get smacked.
They're trying to get them selves right.
Some serious bullshit.
He's on uncovered cops, man.
These fucking plainclothes cops in Pittsburgh are fucking.
Yeah, but that dude, it wasn't even having it rolled up on him.
It was that dude who roll the bottom mark car wrote upon him to the dude.
Oh, yeah, he just rolled up his.
Back right there. Rolled up his back up.
This dude, this nerd over here, he just.
He climbed down the wall.
I still don't understand why he had the fucking Glock right in the face, though.
Oh, well. Oh, my God, that fucking cricket.
Yo, your cricket is crazy, man. I'm about to handle him here.
Fucking about to burn the whole fucking house down to kill that.
Start firing and that fucking go outside on, be upset like.
You gotta be out there with the flamethrower burning shit up
that cricket is live.
We are doing and we're doing a.
Man did.
You just took his headphones off trying to find his cricket?
I'm gonna fucking move.
Hey, don't drag them headphones too far, man.
Don't break. None, man. I'm on the line. I'm.
Watch my hair myself. No more.
Watch my space, man.
Fortunately, it's just two of us right now doing the show.
So, you know, this is with us carrying a microphone.
Testing in the
yes to the
Mason and
the Mason.
The first show.
Watching me now. Just two of. Us.
Because I'm on cricket fucking patrol on this Thursday night.
Yeah. Where he is.
This motherfucker seriously patrolling for crickets.
He's wandering around his.
House, cricket under the like.
He thinks he's going to find his cricket.
Oh, no, that's a mug.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'll make that noise.
Breaking shit.
I'm Philip Screws.
Where?
The cricket.
There's a woman.
I can't, but I need
the alive one.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call real world
America, middle America, middle of America these days.
What do you think's going on?
Grown men wandering around their house trying to find a cricket.
That's right.
Yeah. You shut the fuck up now.
He's the fucking bitch.
He feels hunted for the cricket, feels hunted.
Therefore the cricket is quiet,
so he's got that fucking.
You know what I mean? He's got instincts.
That cricket got. Instincts, instinct. My foot in his ass.
He's fucking as soon as he started on here.
In a second. That's why I'm gonna stand up, though.
Right now.
I'm gonna pounce on his ass like a goddamn cheetah in the wilderness.
See, I think you're totally wrong.
I thought it sounded like it was coming from the bathroom to me, but
totally opposite side of the house when I was when I was listening to it.
Oh, wow.
I mean, that's what I thought I heard, but, you know.
I'm have to dart away.
As soon as the mother started chirping on this one.
Dip off in the bathroom, he don't.
I think he on the other side of the wall, man.
Yeah, man.
The crickets outside.
He outside. He's outside.
Like. And he's still bothering you?
Go a little farther outside.
Can you go more outside?
Maybe you want to do, like a really tight walk around the house, you know,
like put your shoulder against the house and walk and just stomp.
Stretch. It out? Yeah.
Just try to step on his ass and maybe scare him.
Will you stop hard?
He'll.
He'll get scared to run or you'll stomp on him and he'll be making noise.
Feel be like, oh, shit, I gotta get the fuck away from.
Starting to fuck up cause I'm staying in the fuck up
as soon as I sit the fuck down.
This motherfucker gonna start talking again.
See, they understand English. So the fuck?
That's what I'm goddamn crickets so fucking smart.
They know what the fuck we listen. So.
Hey, fuck you. Cricket.
I know you can hear me, motherfucker, but fuck you.
You know I'm gonna get your fucking ass some bitch.
If you're outside, I'm relocate.
Jesse, be inside, and we'll have to motherfucker Cappy ass.
Sorry about it. You know, you should have kept your ass outside.
It says bad luck or bad juju or what the fuck, ever.
But I think the Jap said that we the fucking way is the bad juju.
I'm set because, you know, whatever Jew unit juju straight.
If it did, I'm straight because I'm fucking half Japanese suite.
Fuck away fucking cricket.
Anyway, they got to get the fuck off.
I mean, you could, you could kick it, but shut the fuck up when it's time.
Shut the fuck up.
And right now it's time.
Shot to fuck up.
So, Mr. Cricket, you want to talk?
Go farther out.
Fucking side talk all you goddamn want.
Damn, this man is preaching to a cricket in his house.
Like in the middle of a radio show, which isn't even a radio show.
We aren't on the air.
This isn't like this isn't late night Los Angeles radio.
This is.
This is downtown Warrenton, Virginia.
Motherfucker. Like DDW. Bitch podcast.
This is.
You better know somebody if you want to listen to this shit.
What if I can?
Julian is a little boy.
Be like, hey, what's the what's the podcast?
How can I listen to podcasts? Shit, I don't know.
I can't tell you nothing. It's called don't worry about.com.
Shit.
Sorry about your bad luck.
It's called tough titties.
Dot org.
Said the kitty fam was still good.
Look at these dudes. Is all straight facing at this bitch crying.
You don't take on direct cause he was direct up.
He was in character.
He's. He's out of character now.
He is definitely out of character. You've been arrested?
Yes. Times I sell my ass on third Street.
Then I was on. Hey, Ron.
Yeah, over here on. You got seven bags of hair.
When it's your fourth time
being arrested in front of the same judge with seven bags of heroin.
How you own seven, seven, seven.
I wrote 777.
Tell you both 13 bags.
Oh, wow.
And they are really, really gonna stick it to this girl.
You know where this girl is going to end up?
Right back in the streets.
Prison first. Yeah, yeah. Four streets
shingle.
Have no shitty ass cavalier.
In a few years, she's gonna have herself a little cell.
Know when she gets out of the car, gonna be flying around.
Look, she got more shit.
Yeah.
When she get out, the car is gonna be flying.
She got setbacks.
Hey, Ron.
Going down jail, but
they.
Trying to make a good decision this time.
Look at the man and officer falling apart.
Look at this dude.
He on that shit too. They are all fucked up.
God damn day on that shit out there.
That motherfucking p.
Hey, man, on the.
Hey, what, y'all now on the wrong man?
Act like it ain't going on around here too, man.
I was working at a restaurant here in town.
Motherfucker. This dude was working there.
Like they found his ass in the back with the needle in his arm and shit, like.
I mean, they doing that shit everywhere.
When you do that shit, you just fall right the fuck asleep, right?
Usually. Or you die.
If you fall asleep, you die if you stay awake.
Apparently, you're supposed to be like,
I don't know, fucking rainbows and unicorns and shit or some shit.
I don't even know how to.
Be watching that intervention.
That motherfuckers be on that. Hey, Ron.
They be, like, busting in.
Oh, yeah?
Well, there's a lot of snoozing that goes. Along, and then that's on it.
All the best sleep. Every fucking head, man.
Better sex, you know what I'm saying?
It's like, well, fuck, what the hell? You just drop $80, take a nap.
That's a nap right there, man.
Like you keep taking a nap.
Even the Million Dollar man go get.
Bro fucking a. That's that's for real.
Everybody's got a price.
But, you know, why don't you blow enough on heroin?
You out of money?
Yeah.
I'm not seeing some motherfuckers by crack.
You know, first thing in the morning, like 4 or 5 a.m..
You know, I've seen them by a lot of crack.
I seen my first run to the man.
Run to that motherfucker, clean him out and hit him up in the afternoon,
like info hunter about 6 a.m., and then hit. Him with another four.
Hundred and hitting him like, lunchtime.
Like, yo, you meet me down the road here.
God damn.
What the fuck, Robert?
Y'all y'all to smoke a joint, you have to call somebody, motherfucker, man.
Jesus.
Drink a beer, smoke a joint, have a cigarette, do nothing.
Go for a jog.
I mean, there's a million options that are better than fucking hell.
At work. You can't really go for a jog.
I suppose that's true, but I think that the the thought,
the thought logic on that for most folks would be also can't like,
you know, go shoot up some heroin or smoke a joint or drink a beer.
I mean, it depends.
What depends on the job.
I mean, I could do a lot of jobs, like fucked up, but, you know,
am I actually going to be able to get that job?
And then when I'm doing it fucked up, am I going to be able to keep that job?
Because just because I can do it doesn't mean anybody believes that I can't.
Like, I can drive from here to Timbuktu shitfaced and I'd be able to make it.
But you know what?
I get pulled over and arrested. Maybe.
I doubt I'd get into wreck, though,
because I'm a mad man.
I'm a fucking mad man.
That's right. I'm in a madhouse.
A fucking madhouse. Hey, I know one thing.
I told you, I'm fucking crickets.
Understand? English.
Oh, he's been listening for. Sure he already.
Shut the fuck up.
Thank you.
Cricket, my man. I love you so you can stay.
You can stay.
Yeah, that fucking.
Shut the fuck up until about 4 a.m..
Yeah, he'll wake you up by the time you need to wake up.
We'll keep you awake all night. 340.
Give me 340.
You can start talking.
If not, I'll be walking my naked ass round the fucking house looking for your ass.
I don't get fuck.
What time is. I got a new neighbor.
You know, she see the hanging down I don't get fuck. You got.
You got a new neighbor. Just this empty house over here.
Yeah, I think she's a bitch because fucking.
What makes you think that? Well, see? Okay.
Here. How? Well.
So I come home one day. One day.
This is recent, though, because she obviously just got here.
Yeah, well, she got blind and shit up.
Another thing I don't, I don't I guess she worked night because.
Yeah because she,
I don't, I don't see her, I don't fucking know.
Like I said or called her.
She moved in with you, motherfucker.
I'm gonna fuck him up.
He sounded like he was outside of me, but I got these headphones on, so I really.
Can't tell. I'm.
I'm gonna look for his fucking ass.
He fucked good, but,
so fucking,
I come down, I come home, I come down, I come down the hill over there.
And I see her walking out of her house, walk to her car.
Nothing.
Here we go. Just meet the neighbor.
Dumbass, stupid ass fuck conversation.
This person that you like virtually share a driveway with right now?
Not really. I mean, there's. A meeting between.
Yeah, there's, like a foot of grass in between the driveways. Yeah.
So I'm thinking.
Here we go with the conversation.
All ready. Right.
I, I'm not really looking forward to
because I just had 2.5 hour fucking riding in from Maryland.
So I'm not really too fucking encouraged
on a fucking station right now, really just trying to get fucked up. So.
I bitch, I want to talk to you.
I'm about to go get drunk.
I see, I see her walking to her car, you know, I pull up, I'm staring at her,
getting ready. Hit her with the wave, you know, as I'm driving.
And hopefully I can get away with the wave
as I pull up to my spot and I can get out by then.
She'll be in her car, she'll drive, wait, and then the other blah, blah, blah blah.
You know what I mean? Yeah. You're working hard to avoid.
I'm hoping I can get away.
Well, either way, if I talk to architecture, if I can get away to wave,
I'll get over the wave, you know what I mean?
So I, I, I try that no contact.
No, I contact all.
She won't look at the broken ass fucking slave shack, you know what I mean?
Like it's something fucking looking at the whole time.
She walks to the car, you know.
So then so I like.
All right, well, that one didn't work.
So I'm like, well,
maybe she's up here by the car, won't talk to me or something like that.
So I get out of the car at this point.
No. She in the car already?
Car run and everything.
I'm like, all right, then why?
I'm gonna say what's up or whatever.
Acknowledge what's up.
You know, I'm going to go in the fucking house.
This is my fucking steady looking out up the hill at the master's house.
Some dumb ass raised.
She's like, literally looking away from you every time you looking.
At gently, like, staring like, full out the driver window
in his parked car for no goddamn reason.
No goddamn.
Well, this Mexican looking white dude, Jap, Asian,
whatever the fuck he is, is getting out of the car.
He may want to have some of a conversation with you, even though he is a man.
This odd, strange looking man who lives literally next to you.
I don't know just what his authenticity is, but
I'm just gonna unacknowledged him. So.
And then she just drove the way, and I was just like, all right then.
And I was like, two days ago, I seen her.
I mean, I ain't seen her since, I don't know.
Well, she sounds like a regular, everyday American ass bitch.
Like, oh, hey, there's someone that I might
actually could talk to and don't actually have to talk to.
So I'm going to go as far out of my way to not talk to them as fucking possible
because I'm rude, but I think I'm polite and I'm really just a coward
because I can't talk to people.
Yeah, but you you can get you can.
You could be a polite human being and look at a motherfucker and be like, well.
You want to be that kind of asshole, but the bitch and drive and then start
scooting up and then hit it with the and then hit somebody with the wave.
So there's no
opportunity for the motherfucker to walk up to you,
run up to you, talk to you or anything,
right?
All I know is I'm not jealous of your living situation.
Oh. Well, I live with my parents.
Okay. Well. So.
I mean,
I I'm not.
I'm just saying, in general,
I don't give a fuck who's over there.
I don't give a fuck
if it as long as it goddamn crooked ain't fucking following directions.
Yeah, that crooked ain't gonna listen to you, man.
Fuck him. Up that crazy go keep you up all night.
You gonna be like rooms and rooms away.
And that crickets can be out here making noise.
Now, you want to know why I'm gonna get his ass?
Because I'm a I'm a I'm gonna unfold that fucking table right there,
and I'm gonna take that table out there
and just start throwing it on the ground and walk across it.
There you go.
And then throwing it.
Throw a piece of wood down. Go jump up and down on that bitch.
Eight foot the eight by four table.
That and that fucking mattress right there.
So I'm gonna cover up motherfucking 12.
12 by four by eight, bitch.
That's a fucking.
That's a radius.
That's a fucking radius.
Well, you know, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.
I mean, he's right there in that area.
I believe you, bro, I believe you.
I burned down a whole corner of the damn house. If I was you.
If I was you.
I don't know if that's super loud just because that's the only window
that ain't got the fucking reflect the shade shit going on right there or.
I don't know, I just think that gets close to the house.
And he doesn't believe that the cricket on the inside of the wall,
that you killed his dad.
And he's like, he's like, come on, bitch, I know you in there.
He just try and get some dick or or some pussy or get it.
Yeah, whatever he's trying to see.
Or she's trying to get what they after.
It's it's trying to get or stick.
Either way, which angle?
I'm gonna fuck him up. Her up.
Oh, man. You done?
Yeah. You need to quit worrying about that, cricket.
Look at this. Dude.
Stand on this bridge.
Are putting this episode of cops like you gotta jump. He ain't gonna.
Jump, man.
Fake push him.
I'd walk right up in there and slap the rabbi.
Push him,
you know, be funny as hell to run up and grab by the ankles and just pull.
I would, I would actually just grab and see what he's gonna do is wearing Pumas.
He'd be all right.
He's coming down, too.
Now, the question is, are they going to jump his ass when he comes down?
He's wearing shorts.
They're going to get him. Look at him.
She says, well, all right, I guess
I'll just keep on walking.
Well, I'm sitting right here, man.
Look at that. Now they run the fuck up on him.
How many cops does it take to take care of one suicidal, drunk idiot?
I mean, holy shit.
Talk about an abuse of manpower.
This fucking five cops, there's like, seven cars there.
They're just people walking up and shit.
Like, that's that's.
Is he okay?
That's. That's his wife.
Colder. No, that's just so many times. Drive by.
That would be funny if it was his wife.
She's like, I called the cops because.
You wake up yet? Exactly.
I wanted y'all to come and pick and scrape his ass up off the ground.
You lying motherfucker.
Pack your. Shit right.
Go to your fucking moms, coward.
That's what I'm fucking, Jimmy, cause you're a pussy.
If you were
fucking jump, bitch, I may still be fucking you,
but since you are pussy, I'm fucking Jimmy.
And his dick is great. And.
And fuck you, man.
Just when Jimmy wants to do something, Jimmy does it.
He didn't stand up on the railing of a bridge and then get back down.
Do what?
Cop show it listens.
Okay?
And that's all I fucking needed from you, Nick.
Okay, Jimmy.
He fucking. He just listens.
Are they arresting him?
Are they? They haven't beat his ass.
They haven't beat his ass.
Talk to him for a minute. In jail?
Yeah, that's his fake wife over there.
We wanted to take you down town, bitch.
Give you a little.
She called him.
She's like, yo, Nick bout to jump.
He on the E-40 bridge on the northbound fucking left shoulder.
Check him.
Thank him.
Yet if they didn't let go of his hands, they made him lean on the fucking joint.
He's indoors.
He's Harold. No, he's going to jail, Harold.
He's going to jail.
Not. Damn it!
Are you going to jail?
We're going to jail for a fake jumping a crime.
What the fuck?
Like I know suicide is supposed to be a crime.
It's like sitting in it now, crying.
You're in your face, jumping off a bridge.
Marijuana on you.
That's all you had, Graham?
40 years, motherfucker.
40 years, have you?
Because we want you to feel better about life.
Because we will get your help.
Obviously. Need some help.
You get your help.
Oh, you had you had weird on and you were thinking about jumping off a bridge.
So about that, we just going to get into marijuana? Hell.
The bridge was going to help the marijuana.
See that shit when they killed his ass though? The fucking where's water?
That would have hurt, but that wouldn't have killed him.
Asphalt and rocks.
He was gone.
No, it's not high enough, man.
That shit ain't high enough, man.
He remembered that episode of Batman The Movie when he was like, from this
I wouldn't die. And he's like, I'm going on it.
And he pushes him.
That was like 12.
That's there.
This guy.
No, no, no, that was that was 35.
That was 35ft at the most of the ground down there.
That's it was not that. Far ankles bro.
If he lands. He's breaking something for sure.
He's dead.
There's no. Way if he put his head down first.
Like if he if he did like the swan dive and literally just dove
headfirst into the ground.
Sure he's dead.
If he.
If he kind of fell.
But did that guy look like he had the way
with all to go head first off that bridge?
He gonna die like he gonna die like the white girl.
Spider-Man.
Gwen.
He gonna die like Gwen on Spider-Man.
Gwen.
When where the bitch back headbutted the ground.
Spider-Man with Jamie Fox.
Jamie.
Fox 2 or 3 or what the fuck ever.
And Denis Leary.
So this is one of the newer Spider-Man.
Not new.
New. There's been so many Spider-Man
movies in my lifetime, I just really have no clue.
I think a Spider-Man two or The amazing.
Is he the Amazing Spider-Man, or was he just regular spider.
Man was Spider-Man and Spider-Man two and Spider-Man three?
And then there was The Amazing Spider-Man,
the amazing Spider-Man two, and then there was. A man movies.
And there was like, Spider-Man homecoming, I guess was the new one.
And this is just Biedermann out the ass.
I ain't seen the Spider-Man out of the ass yet.
I ain't seen Spider-Man out the ass either.
But he's there. He had his Buick raw.
Just just just rolling on these, like.
Oh, you want to chase me now, don't you?
He's got the Aurora V8.
Hey, running a stop sign?
Write him down for reckless.
He just ran a stop sign.
They are right on his ass to see.
Like to me, if you're gonna run from the cops,
like, don't you want to run from the cops like,
before they get your license plate written down?
You know what I mean?
Like, these motherfuckers were right on his ass when he starts to run.
Not like having a motorcycle with no license plate on it,
where you can just go and fucking haul ass, you know?
Yeah, I'm my man.
I'm trying to
type.
Type this motherfuckers
over here working on some strange
be like, hey, boo.
How you doing, boo?
What's up girl?
All right, here we go.
All Spider-Man movies in order.
You got the maiden Spider-Man? Oh, well.
Yeah.
Who's in these things? Are you looking for Spider-Man?
Jamie Foxx? Spider-Man?
Yeah. I don't know that one.
You seen that one?
I don't think so.
Had to offer and feed my thought to Christ.
To the.
Spider-Man with Jamie fucking Fox, man.
Goddamn we it.
She could just called Stevie dance with that jump
fighter, man.
With.
Fire.
That's a that's.
Why would you put it Spider-Man Jamie
Fox with.
Well, I hope you find something.
I'm curious.
It's amazing. Spider-Man two.
Amazing Spider-Man two has had Jamie Fox in it.
Yeah, he was electro.
Okay.
Max Dillon
and fucking.
And I really want to say that that was a that was dance lyrics.
I think he's in those movies.
I think he's Mary Jane's mom. I mean. Dad was that dad?
That was dancing there, right? The dad right.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So damn,
these cops are tossing this dude around.
He's giving him a wedgie now.
I'm gonna hold your booty pants up here, buddy.
Your sweatpants seem to be missing a string.
Power.
Don't do it on there, though.
Is that Emma Stone that has old. Yeah, yeah.
Emma Stone was in those two.
Skinny bitch, man.
She had heats up, man.
I don't know.
I wouldn't bugger about it if she wanted to eat something.
I wouldn't bugger about it.
Either, but nothing will be staying.
She got a bone there.
Well. You you. Got a whole lot of complaints about famous women, don't you?
Every famous woman. You got to complain about that.
It's too skinny. Oh, she's too tall. Oh, her nipples to skinny.
When they do damn skinny.
Them bitches need to eat something, man.
Put your fucking meat on your bones.
Don't worry about that stupid motherfucker that's talking about.
You need to be a size zero bitch.
Fuck is inside.
Would you like a large one?
Motherfucking bits and fucking gravy right there.
Make me some goddamn bacon on the fucking side.
Fuck you think we got going on here, man?
You know you got.
I mean.
See, I like, I like, I like to have a woman in my life
that can make enough bacon and eggs for, like,
me normally, and then eat some of it,
and then I would eat less than I normally would.
And we both be in good.
Shape and give me I mean, a size eight is not
I mean size 14 is, is is healthy.
Is that your flavor?
You like like you like like ten it up.
I mean, I think I think 14 is super healthy.
1014 is like super healthy.
I think, I don't know, I ain't got my draw size.
I mean, is there a thigh gap with a 14?
I don't think there is.
I like I like thigh gap.
I'm a fan of thigh gap.
I'm a fan. Thought gap two. But I don't need nobody.
You ain't that big of a fan of thigh gap.
If you gonna be telling every bitch they need to get a sandwich and shit.
Well, I mean.
Skinny girl, don't you have yourself some fucking beans and gravy?
Look, if it's gonna take this bitch.
Ten minutes. Get ready. Go! Goddamn Walmart.
You better going down the road, bitch.
Be going to goddamn garden hose.
You don't need to put all that goddamn makeup on all that shit.
We're going to the motherfucking Walmart, man.
You motherfucker! Some bitch at the front.
Yeah, makeup and skinny and fat and all these things are different.
Different?
Different things.
Like, I don't need a bunch of makeup.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, hold on, I.
Fuck that.
Just be putting on makeup and shit. Two.
Oh, you think that you think you're dating a girl that's not expecting.
That?
She can skinny fat.
She can be like,
bitch, get the car.
You do that car. Oh, wait. So wait.
Because you can be abusive to a fat chick.
You dig a fat chick better
because you can yell at her and tell it again in the car. Shit.
You can't tell skinny bitch what you need to tell the skinny bitch?
Because the skinny bitch is gonna be like,
I'm gonna tell you.
Oh. Oh, girl, oh, fuck. Oh, girl.
So skinny bitches got too much self-esteem for you.
Is that what the problem is?
Let me tell you what, my dear.
Let me tell you what motherfucking my.
This this this map. This.
Oh, girl. Oh my God.
Oh, girl, I can't even talk about it right now, girl.
Okay, let me take her.
This motherfucker right here, he really.
He gonna he gonna raise his voice.
And I was like, oh, hell no.
Who do you think you're raising your voice to around here?
Cause it ain't motherfucking me, mister Johnny Cash.
It ain't me.
I ain't, but but you know, girl with me on most.
She get right in the fucking dripper.
Start putting that motherfucking lipstick on.
Putting that little.
Let me work on my cheeks.
Put in that. Blues song. Let me rouge my cheeks up.
Rose cheek in the blues, you know, put a little shit up on the run.
Right in my bag.
See, I want me a girl with thigh gap that doesn't wear makeup.
That's what I want.
I want a girl with thigh with thigh gap. And. No.
And don't, don't be sweating makeup.
I don't want all that kind of bullshit.
And I don't need to be yelling at the bitch. Get in the car.
I want a bitches.
Go get in the car with me because she's like, oh, damn, I got to get in the car.
This one sees this shit, not this.
Like, oh, this motherfucker yelled at me. I better get in the car.
Quit yelling at me like you. Really? You want a factor?
I was like that. What you said.
I mean, that's how I interpreted it.
I mean, I was really just talking to him, but you know how I
talked about the fucking. Well, I know that.
So you do talk to people in a certain kind of way.
So, like, maybe having a fat girl talk to you like that would be a little bit.
You'd have a little better longevity.
I just talk a lot louder than everybody else.
Talk. So
I don't know.
Yeah. That.
Didn't you say words that other people don't say
at times that other people don't say?
Like, if y'all want something you need to say
and you're looking for a motherfucker to say, come at me.
I'll tell the motherfucker. Yeah, let's do the league.
He'll call people up and dump them for you, fire people for you.
I will cost your balls out right now.
Egg the fuck out of his house, I don't care.
I ain't got nothing to do.
The man's hired for dirty. To like for.
You mean you had to give me.
I mean, I guess my working hours be from 9 to 12, which is dark.
I gotta get back to sleep. Depending on your location.
Might be nine. 11 even.
Like, I'll be back in bed at 12.
If I'm in bed at 12 and ain't driving in the morning.
Shit. You got a deal? Mailbox in.
A. Tip.
There you go.
To the paper.
Car flipping if it's a smart car or a Fiat.
If it's a small enough some that you can get it rocking.
If it's a fucking geometric, I might flip that bitch twice.
That might just relocate that parking job.
I think I can flip a GM, you can flip GM metro, their flipping GM metro.
Maybe they're. Pretty good. Be the first flying car.
The GM metro.
GM metro.
No to self no y'all y'all y'all heard it here.
Thank you fans.
Ladies and gentlemen you heard it here first junior with the call.
Geo Metro will be the first car to fly.
I ain't driving.
It makes very little sense, but.
Cheapest one to have. Man.
It would be cool to do a conversion like that.
Back to the future. Like a Cooper.
Oh, somebody live right here?
Somebody live around here? Got Delorean.
Oh, yeah.
They live down, down, down, down the right over there.
That's pretty cool.
I like Delorean, but, like,
they're rather shitty cars on the grand scheme of things.
I have to rebuild it all the way. The only thing.
The only thing look good about that.
Don't know, because I was right behind.
He had his little Chinese food hanging out.
The little, little pocket window.
Yeah, they got those. Little, like, a dual window thing.
Take out those little dinky windows that don't open all the way. Yeah.
And the little tiny food was hanging out the fucking out the driver's side.
Like out the little. Hey, what the fuck, man?
I cut my cable off.
Now the fuck.
We got the cops episode all fucked up.
Now you can't even see House hunters on HGTV or flipper flop.
I was gonna see what the football game was going on, but I think.
Yeah, it's almost already over. Yeah, probably.
I think it was starting before.
You think.
Having problems will tell you what, you better get shit together.
You better get your shit together, because.
This may be temporary, so please try again in a few minutes.
If you're still having trouble, please try the following.
Ensure that your cable connections are tight.
I'm just trying back out the
main screen what y'all bitches want from a cracker grandstanding.
And I thought that's.
Exactly what they do. Macho.
They grandstanding and fucking hot dog.
Yeah, I mean, I ain't watching TV.
I'm watching what could be on it.
I'm watching watching the Guide Channel.
I was stuck on the guides in them.
Oh, they still telling me what they talking about.
They're like, why don't you try turning everything off
and then we'll turn it back on, and then you could turn it off again,
and then you could turn it on again.
Oh, that's not the cable, damn it.
That's the TV.
Two different things.
Okay, we got it.
That's the other one.
Oh, shit.
I hate it right there.
Cord kind of tried to wrap around me real quick. I trying to tell you, man.
Of course.
Take you out, bro. Come work for I will feature was. In there.
Take your feets right out from under you.
And you know what happened then?
They just to be the chorus of laughter because.
The chorus laughs.
Well.
Ladies
and gentlemen, as we wind down another episode of the Mason
and fringe show, we'd like to thank you for listening.
If you've stuck it out with us this far,
I certainly hope you have stuck it out with us this far.
You must be a friend of the Mason French Show.
I love. Y'all, we love you.
We appreciate your time.
Okay.
To me.